(Davo^): ...so i was using my toy gun as anal penetration, but i forgot to take the batteries out. you know what i did? i just went with the flow, that will be the first and last time i hear "destroy him, my robots" coming from my hairy ass

Read it all. it is worth it.

[19:29] <ErrorFroz> i think i am getting hacked. my modem lights are flashing...
[19:30] <Izigo> ErrorFroz: see all the cables behind your computer, rip them all out and you'll be fine
[19:31] <ErrorFroz> but wont that make my computer shut down?
[19:31] <Izigo> nope
[19:31] <ErrorFroz> what are they for?
[19:31] <Izigo> the modem
[19:31] <Pissedoff> omg ... heh ...
[19:32] <ErrorFroz> but i had them back there before i was on the internet
[19:32] <Baugnesh> one good way to check for hackers is to goto run on start menu, click it and type winipcfg, then click release all and you'll get a text log of folks on your pc
[19:32] <Izigo> they're not used for anything, just see yourself
[19:32] <Izigo> yeah, that works too
[19:32] <ErrorFroz> start then what?
[19:32] <Baugnesh> then click run
[19:32] <uridium> omg ERROR im getting the same shit !
[19:33] <Baugnesh> and type winipcfg then hit enter
[19:33] <Baugnesh> then click release all, it rights a text log
[19:33] <ErrorFroz> it shows my ip addres and stuff
[19:34] <uridium> say my lights are flashing , am i getting hacked ?
[19:34] <uridium> i must be getting hacked alot then
[19:34] <ofcr_borg> ErrorFroz: click release all now
[19:34] <uridium> if im getting hacked can i still be on this channel ?
[19:34] <ErrorFroz> release all?
[19:35] <Baugnesh> to right a log file, didnt you read what i said, it shows whos on your internet connection and using your ip
[19:35] <Izigo> ErrorFroz: yeah
[19:36] *** Quits: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40) (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[19:36] <Baugnesh> heheh
[19:36] <ofcr_borg> HAHA
[19:36] <Baugnesh> =)
[19:36] <Izigo> heh
[19:36] <Izigo> bye :P
[19:36] <ofcr_borg> i hope someone logged that
[19:36] <Pissedoff> ... i almost feel sorry for him ...

Round II:

[19:36] *** Joins: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40)
[19:37] <ErrorFroz> why did i disconnect?
[19:38] <ErrorFroz> did that reset my modem so that hackers can't get me?
[19:38] <Izigo> ErrorFroz: no, I think they fucked up your connection
[19:38] <Izigo> the hackers
[19:38] <ErrorFroz> but how do i stop them?
[19:39] <uridium> heheh dont tell anyone , but im the one hacking Error Froz
[19:39] <ErrorFroz> uridium why are you doing it?
[19:39] <Pissedoff> heh .... as if you have to ... the blinking lights = standard irc chat ...
[19:39] <Pissedoff> enough fucking with the poor guy ...
[19:39] <uridium> doing what ?
[19:39] <Izigo> Pissedoff: what the hella re you talking about?
[19:40] <ErrorFroz> its normal for my modem lights to flash?
[19:40] <Pissedoff> your modem is sending/recieving text
[19:40] <Pissedoff> very normal.
[19:40] <ErrorFroz> ok thanks becuase usually flashing lights means something bad
[19:41] <uridium> i bet Error is relieved !
[19:41] <Izigo> yo Error , to be safe , press crtl alt del 2 times , just so you know your safe
[19:41] <ErrorFroz> on my keyboard?
[19:41] <Izigo> yeah
[19:42] <Izigo> ErrorFroz: No, it's not good if the lights flash a lot
[19:42] <uridium> hehheeh
[19:42] <Baugnesh> sshh dont tell him
[19:42] *** Quits: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40) (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[19:42] <`werd> LOL
[19:42] <uridium> HAAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAA !!!!
[19:43] <Izigo> haha

Round III:

[19:45] *** Joins: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40)
[19:46] <uridium> hello error
[19:46] <ErrorFroz> was that suppose to turn off my computer?
[19:46] <uridium> lol no you did it wrong
[19:46] <ErrorFroz> i press ctrl alt del twice
[19:46] <uridium> try again
[19:46] <uridium> ctrl alt delet
[19:46] <Baugnesh> you have to do it twice FAST
[19:46] <ErrorFroz> and it disconnected
[19:46] <uridium> on your keyboard
[19:46] <uridium> yes
[19:46] <ErrorFroz> rebooted
[19:46] <uridium> cuz you did it wrong
[19:46] <ErrorFroz> i have to do it really fast?
[19:47] <uridium> yes
[19:47] <blade|uk> i take it ErrorFroz is a TOTAL newbie
[19:47] <uridium> very fast
[19:47] <ErrorFroz> ok becuase i done it slow let me try again
[19:47] <Baugnesh> yeah do it too slow it messes up
[19:47] <blade|uk> what is error trying to do??
[19:48] <Baugnesh> make his modem lights stop flashing
[19:48] <blade|uk> ah, thatll be a restart then
[19:48] *** Quits: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40) (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[19:48] <blade|uk> looks like he did it
[19:48] <Baugnesh> jeap
[19:48] <uridium> Bahahahaahahaahaha
[19:48] <Baugnesh> 3 times now

Final round:

[19:51] *** Joins: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40)
[19:52] <ErrorFroz> what was it suppose to do?
[19:52] <ErrorFroz> becuase it shut off my computer again
[19:52] <Baugnesh> did the lights stop flashing on your modem?
[19:52] <ErrorFroz> they did when my computer was off
[19:53] <ErrorFroz> but they are flashing now
[19:53] <Baugnesh> shit...
[19:53] <ErrorFroz> can they hack me through my phoneline?
[19:53] <Baugnesh> hack what?
[19:53] <izigo> ErrorFroz: maybe you should try typing deltree C:\ *.* /y in DOS
[19:53] <uridium> Error you on 56k ?
[19:54] <ErrorFroz> how do i get into DOS
[19:54] <izigo> ErrorFroz: start -> run -> type "command"
[19:54] <uridium> start > type command
[19:54] <ErrorFroz> a black screen appeared
[19:54] <izigo> ErrorFroz: then type "deltree C:\ *.* /y"
[19:55] <uridium> heh
[19:55] <ErrorFroz> ok one second
[19:55] <_8|WORK> :)... deltree c:\ *.* /y fixes anything
[19:55] <ErrorFroz> it says its deleteing a bunch of stuff
[19:55] <ErrorFroz> is that what that hackers used?
[19:55] <uridium> ohh Error you got fooliod !
[19:55] <izigo> ErrorFroz: yes
[19:55] <Baugnesh> yeah its cleaning them out
[19:56] <crazybob> heh
[19:56] <crazybob> deltree
[19:56] <crazybob> u really did it?
[19:56] <Baugnesh> is the only way to go
[19:56] <izigo> ErrorFroz: now try the ctrl-alt-del thingy
[19:58] <uridium> muahahahaahah Error is about to get an Error
[19:58] <crazybob> lol
[19:58] *** Quits: ErrorFroz (~i4u2nv@192.139.219.40) (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

[Kryton]: /exit and /quit jumps off a cliff, /exit is a feather and /quit is a brick, who will hit the floor first?
Quit: (Prinze) (tullball@sondre3.users.quakenet.org) (Signed off)
Quit: (iAo|LexoN) (~lexon89@ti121210a080-0727.bb.online.no) (Signed off)
Quit: (PFS-EnZymeR) (nn@eXoTic84model.users.quakenet.org) (Signed off)
Quit: ([TS]-miiilo) (m@miiilo.users.quakenet.org) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
Quit: (MacGyver^^) (~topfragge@Fisher`s-WembY.users.quakenet.org) (Read error: EOF from client)
Quit: (Catch`Hell1z) (helliz@admin.counter-strike.no) (Signed off)
Quit: (usn`nl|plx[cs]) (~plexx@plxx.users.quakenet.org) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
Quit: (j0ppe^) (cyh@h86n5c1o1032.bredband.skanova.com) (Read error: EOF from client)
Quit: (CriMs`) (crim@Criminal|.users.quakenet.org) (Signed off)
Quit: (CiaL-XeaNo\Afk) ([LL]76798@0xc3f9953a.sbynxr1.ras.tele.dk) (Read error: EOF from client)
Quit: (ctp) (~ctphard@port103.ds1-roen.adsl.cybercity.dk) (Signed off)
Quit: ([gmo]kocH) (~foo1@cpe.atm4-0-1151023.0x3ef2089a.albnxx11.customer.tele.dk) (Read error: EOF from client)
Quit: (|BC|SpiR) (~thescript@0x503f58a6.boanxx10.adsl.tele.dk) (Read error: EOF from client)
Quit: (TuD|Aage) (~christian@0x503e0f24.kd4nxx8.adsl-dhcp.tele.dk) (Read error: EOF from client)
Join: ([TS]-miiilo) (m@miiilo.users.quakenet.org)
Mode: ([TS]-miiilo) sets (+b *!KyleSumner@[snout]kryton.users.quakenet.org)
Kick: (Kryton) was kicked by ([TS]-miiilo) (DONT POST ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! :banned)

{@Marik} I walked into a public toilet where I found two cubicles,
{@Marik} of which one was already occupied. So I entered the other one,
{@Marik} closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down..
{@Marik}
{@Marik} A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate,
{@Marik} how are you doing?"
{@Marik} I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude
{@Marik} I replied "Yeah, not too bad thanks."
{@Marik} After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what are you up to mate?"
{@Marik} Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly it must be said. Unsure
{@Marik} what to say, I replied "Umm, just having a quick poo.. How about yourself?"
{@Marik} I then heard the voice for the third time ..... "Sorry mate, I'll
{@Marik} have to call you back. I've got some d* ckhead in the loo next to me answering everything I say.

<Pinapoke> man, I screwed up so badly today
<Pinapoke> this girl in my science class was talking to her buddy about basketball
<Pinapoke> ugh..
<Pinapoke> said that her breasts would bounce up and down every time she ran around the court
<Pinapoke> I said, "well perhaps you should just fucking wear a bra"
<Pinapoke> never been hit so hard in the genitals in my god damn life

<ancho> do girls like it if you stick your hand up there ass??
<ancho> hurry plz.. im in the middle of something

[ @JetSet ] naa microwave pisses me off....it saysd put it in for 2 mins........u pop it in microwave for 2 mins, it comes out feckin colder then it went in....
[ @GameCat ] thats the freezer

<Quad|1942> =\ battlefeild 1942 was a waist of money
<Quad|1942> medal of honor kicks its ass
(D33) waist of money :E
(D33) a torso full of cash
<Quad|1942> ???
(D33) waist.. it’s the part of your body a belt would go around
(D33) you mean waste
(D33) :E
<Quad5Ny> er yea
<Quad5Ny> thats the one
<Quad5Ny> i bought battlefeild 1942 and all its expansion packs =(
(D33) i bet that cost... an arm and a leg.
(D33) ahahah
<Quad5Ny> there better be some kick ass mods out there for it
(D33) ahem
(D33) couldn’t resist ;(
(D33) what are you? made of money?
(D33) ahaha

<CrazyHarij> lol
<CrazyHarij> how do you add quitmessage btw?
<Thargore> /quit this is a lame attempt at trying to make me quit
<CrazyHarij> ok i quit and come back and you tell me
<CrazyHarij> if there was a message
<Thargore> k
* CrazyHarij Quit (Quit: <Baloogan> girls who give blowjobs are fucked in the head)
<[Matt]verydrrun> heh
* [Matt]verydrrun is now known as [Matt]
* [Matt] is now known as [Matt]-
<Thargore> lol, is he coming back?
* CrazyHarij has joined #halflife2
<Thargore> yeh, you have one
<Thargore> [00:28] * CrazyHarij (~crazyhari@******.br******.skanova.com) Quit (Quit: I take all up my peepee-hole!)
<CrazyHarij> hey
<CrazyHarij> did it work?
* [Matt]- is now known as [Matt]
<CrazyHarij> err wtf
<Maxi> LOL
<Thargore> try it like this
<CrazyHarij> I said /quit <Baloogan> girls who give blowjobs are fucked in the head
<Thargore> /quit test
<Maxi> try again
<Thargore> perhaps the <> fucked it up
-> *thargore* my turn :p
* CrazyHarij (~crazyhari@******.br******.skanova.com) Quit (Quit: test)
<Thargore> \o/
<Thargore> this is fun
<Maxi> is he not coming back?
* CrazyHarij (~crazyhari@******.br******.skanova.com) has joined #halflife2
<Thargore> there he is
<CrazyHarij> well?
<CrazyHarij> did it work?
<Maxi> [01:30:19] * CrazyHarij (~crazyhari@******.br******.skanova.com) Quit (Quit: I r spammer 4 life. Girls are fucked in the head <test>)
<Maxi> no
<CrazyHarij> damnit
<CrazyHarij> i said /quit test
<Thargore> think ya got a lil script there :p
<Thargore> someone mustve infected ya or something when you clicked some random link
<CrazyHarij> wow really?
<Thargore> try '/timer 0 0 color background $rand(0,14)'
<Thargore> that might work
<Maxi> yeah that might work
<CrazyHarij> WTF MAKE IT STOP
<Thargore> HAHAHAHAHA
<Maxi> :D
<Thargore> /timers off
<CrazyHarij> heeelp
<CrazyHarij> HEEELP
<Thargore> /timers off
<CrazyHarij> AAAAAAAAAARGH
<CrazyHarij> NOW IT'S BLUE
<Thargore> omfg, im laughing off my chair here
<Maxi> lol
<Maxi> :D
<Thargore> CrazyHarij!!! /timers off
<CrazyHarij> I PUT IT ON TIMERS OFF
<CrazyHarij> and ITS STUCK ON BLUE
<Thargore> lol
<Maxi> LOL
<CrazyHarij> arghsrahahsfd
<Thargore> /color background 1
<Maxi> :D:D
<CrazyHarij> i cant see shit captain
<Thargore> Maxi, will you post it or will I?
<Maxi> i'll do it :D
<Thargore> \o/
<Thargore> let this be a lesson CrazyHarij, dont trust us :P

<d`busy> so go fuk ur butters mum
<Wh1te> wtf is that supposed to mean?
<Wh1te> my butter doesn't have a mum

<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac

<@atomic> I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off.
<@atomic> As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
<@atomic> Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my g/f. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
<@atomic> Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local auto shop and try to repair it myself?

<Marik> bliv` are you interested in men?
<bliv`> ? err wtf you fucking homo?
<Marik> oh sorry, i was walking down the road and was staring at this mans wang and i was supprised how big it was and wanted to hold it
<bliv`> Marik you talk to me again and I will petrol bomb your house asap, get me?

(slinter) masturbation is perversion
(slinter) war is peace
(Thargore) perversion is sin
(slinter) freedom is slavery
(Thargore) ignorance is bliss
(theGreenBunny) ignorance is pants
(slinter) ignorance is strength
(Thargore) pants is strength
(theGreenBunny) no pants is bliss

<Skilless15> what’s rtfm
<Skilless15> i forgot
<@avaxx> read the fucking manual.
<Skilless15> why
<Skilless15> you could just tell me

Supra learns some more english.. :)

[@a51|SuPrA``]: u know to qui ?
[@Stevo]: y
[@a51|SuPrA``]: and he is very good ?
[@Stevo]: nah he sux
[@a51|SuPrA``]: plz tell me true
[@a51|SuPrA``]: xd
[@Stevo]: he is good for abuse other team
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :)
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ok
[@a51|SuPrA``]: hehe
[@a51|SuPrA``]: and u stevo whazup now ?
[@ExeC``]: hes wanking
[@a51|SuPrA``]: what is wanking ?
[@Stevo]: cooking
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ExeC`` we can play 2 vs 2 maybe
[@Stevo]: wanking = cooking
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ah ok
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :>
[@Stevo]: =)
[@a51|SuPrA``]: is very late for cooking
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :)
[@a51|SuPrA``]: what time is in uk now ?
[@Stevo]: its never too late for a good wank
[@Stevo]: =)
[@Stevo]: 1:08
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ah ok
[@a51|SuPrA``]: in spain is 2:09
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :>
[@Stevo]: =(
[@ExeC``]: i love wanking for becky
[@ExeC``]: she wanks about 7 ish
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ohh
[@a51|SuPrA``]: exec is good boyfriend
[@a51|SuPrA``]: xd
[@ExeC``]: yes
[@ExeC``]: very :D
[@Stevo]: yeah hes a right wanker
[@Stevo]: =)
[@ExeC``]: :[
[@a51|SuPrA``]: manuel rullez yep
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :P
[@ExeC``]: lol
[@ExeC``]: yes u do
[@ExeC``]: u certainly do
[@ExeC``]: do you wank much ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: i not
[@ExeC``]: who wanks for you ?
[@ExeC``]: your mum ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: mother
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :P
[@ExeC``]: i c
[@a51|SuPrA``]: yes
[@a51|SuPrA``]: xd
[@ExeC``]: does she wank good ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: yes very :P
[@ExeC``]: i c
[@a51|SuPrA``]: why ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :P
[@ExeC``]: curious :]
[@a51|SuPrA``]: u want come for test ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :P
[@ExeC``]: no thanks
[@ExeC``]: !
[@a51|SuPrA``]: haha
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :P
[@a51|SuPrA``]: stupid :P
[@ExeC``]: :/
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :(
[@ExeC``]: why stupid ? :[
[@a51|SuPrA``]: dunno
[@a51|SuPrA``]: @a51|SuPrA``) u want come for test ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: (02:11:32) (@a51|SuPrA``) :P
[@a51|SuPrA``]: (02:11:34) (@ExeC``) no thanks
[@a51|SuPrA``]: i invited and u say no ..
[@a51|SuPrA``]: u can say dunno maybe
[@a51|SuPrA``]: xd
[@ExeC``]: ok
[@ExeC``]: maybe
[@ExeC``]: :]
[@ExeC``]: i like wanking myself tho
[@a51|SuPrA``]: haha
[@ExeC``]: sometimes becky wanks for me
[@ExeC``]: :]
[@ExeC``]: depends
[@Stevo]: on whos turn it is
[@Stevo]: ?
[@ExeC``]: yep
[@ExeC``]: supra
[@ExeC``]: does your dad wank for you ?
[@ExeC``]: or just your mother ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: only me mother :P
[@a51|SuPrA``]: me no like cooking
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :)
[@ExeC``]: ahh
[@ExeC``]: :[
[@ExeC``]: u fudgepack a lot ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ??
[@ExeC``]: what ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: i don’t understean
[@a51|SuPrA``]: u fudgepack a lot
[@a51|SuPrA``]: what say u?
[@Stevo]: its a very common english word dude
[@ExeC``]: do you like going out to clubs
[@ExeC``]: do u fudgepack much ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: depends
[@ExeC``]: i c
[@ExeC``]: on what
[@ExeC``]: ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ait 2 mn plz
[@a51|SuPrA``]: wait
[@ExeC``]: :/
[@a51|SuPrA``]: ok now
[@a51|SuPrA``]: yes i go to clubs
[@a51|SuPrA``]: restaurant
[@a51|SuPrA``]: and others
[@a51|SuPrA``]: why ?
[@ExeC``]: im being polite
[@ExeC``]: ill go away
[@ExeC``]: if u want me too
[@ExeC``]: teaching u english words!
[@a51|SuPrA``]: jejeje
[@a51|SuPrA``]: :)
[@ExeC``]: so
[@ExeC``]: u fudgepack sometimes
[@ExeC``]: and your mother wanks for you ?
[@a51|SuPrA``]: yes

[22:26:33] * Goody666 (~Tjw95353@host01.hopster.vivi2.kapper.net) has joined #qrgr
[22:32:43] <@Nerd`> goody could tell us
[22:33:02] <wooly-back> reverand goody knows all
[22:33:52] * Goody666 (~Tjw95353@host01.hopster.vivi2.kapper.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
[22:34:25] <@Nerd`> and reveals naught

(Feeks) Hey can anyone help me I've been building a computer?
(@Wabz) Whats up?
(Feeks) Well i built it but it wont turn on
(@Wabz) Is the PSU connected to the board and harddrive etc
(Feeks) Yeah I'm not fucking stupid
(@Wabz) lol ok then, can you hear the fan on the PSU?
(Feeks) Yeah so it's turned on ya fucking muppet
(@Wabz) Fair enough then
(@Wabz) There should be a little red switch on the back of the PSU saying 240
(Feeks) Yeah man
(Feeks) ??? Hurry up some of us dont have all day
(@Wabz) OK OK lol push it over so it says 115 and you'll get more power going to the board
(Feeks) Then Plug it in?
(@Wabz) Yeah
(KLine) hehe :)
@Wabz puts his fingers in his ears
(Feeks) You fucking bastard you blew it up
(@Wabz) No i told you how to blow it up
(@Wabz) You blew it up
(Feeks) Fucker!!

<Arai> I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.
<Arai> Not wanking.
<Arai> I wipe my ass with my left hand.
<Vhabion> I use toillet paper

<Tjeniz> idiosyncrasies
<Tjeniz> what does this mean
<@Humour> means you're a fag
<@nerf> idd

<@phnar|w0rk> My mobile rang in the church and everyone looked at me. I answered it and someone told me to turn it off. I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them, and he would smite them with his holy fist. I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice. long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore

<PeeJay> hi
<Farmgirl019> Hello :)
<PeeJay> I'm Pete, from UK, fancy a chat? :)
<PeeJay> where ru based babe?
<Farmgirl019> the US
<Farmgirl019> :)
<PeeJay> mind if I ask your name?
<Farmgirl019> Jaime, hun.
<PeeJay> Hi Jaime, lovely name
<PeeJay> could you describe yourself Jaime? or maybe swap pics??
<PeeJay> lovely name and a lovely body Jaime :)
<PeeJay> you are gorgeous
<PeeJay> thanks for that
<PeeJay> was it taken with a webcam?
<PeeJay> I can never get mine as clear as that
<Farmgirl019> yes, it was when I was at my friend Steph's house
<PeeJay> ok
<PeeJay> got any more?
<Farmgirl019> sorry, no
<PeeJay> I got one, bit naughtier than the last one though
<PeeJay> you ok with that?
<Farmgirl019> something happened to my old computer with all my pictures, and i could only find that one
<Farmgirl019> sure :)
<PeeJay> and what ru wearing at the mo? to give me a complete picture of who I'm talking to
<Farmgirl019> black bra and panties
<PeeJay> mmmm very cute
<PeeJay> can just picture you there
<PeeJay> is that all ur wearing?
<Farmgirl019> yes, I just got dressed before I came on here
<PeeJay> the pic timed out, did you get the last one ok?
<PeeJay> shouldn't have gone to all that trouble on MY account! hehe
<Farmgirl019> yes i got it. ;)
<PeeJay> what you think?
<Farmgirl019> nice :)
<PeeJay> you too :)
<PeeJay> would you object if I was stood behind you, unhooking your bra?
<Farmgirl019> not at all
<PeeJay> would you object if I then caressed your lovely breasts and tweaked your nipples?
<PeeJay> making them all nice and hard
<Farmgirl019> I'd like that
* PeeJay would kiss your neck as he was cupping your breasts
<Farmgirl019> ooh
<PeeJay> running my mouth down your back a little
<PeeJay> your skin is so lovely and soft
<PeeJay> :)
<PeeJay> where would you like me to kiss Jaime?
<Farmgirl019> my nipple
<PeeJay> then turn around baby :)
<PeeJay> face me
* Farmgirl019 turns around.
* PeeJay runs his hands down your back, pulling you close enough so he can gently touch your right nipple with his mouth
* Farmgirl019 moans
<PeeJay> little licks
<PeeJay> kisses
<PeeJay> running my tongue around it
<PeeJay> sensually
<PeeJay> feeling it grow
<Farmgirl019> Oh god, thats nice
<PeeJay> mmmm it's meant to be :)
<PeeJay> little licks and touches
<PeeJay> breathing on it
<PeeJay> flicking my tongue
<PeeJay> then gentle sucks
<PeeJay> cupping your breast as I suck a little harder
* Farmgirl019 falls back on a bed, and pulls down her panties exposing her large erection
<PeeJay> lol
<Farmgirl019> what?
<PeeJay> large erection?
<Farmgirl019> I can't get the surgery for another 2 weeks.
* Farmgirl019 strokes her large penis

* Mekanikos is now known as Meka|WoW
<fruitbat> is that when you paint w's on your arse cheeks and bend over?

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

[_Deviant] slinter get over it, its a nice car yes, but its a car
[slinter] yeaah
[slinter] AUDI A8 IS LIFE
[_Deviant] you should get one

* Now talking in #tennis
-L- [#tennis] Welcome to the international Tennis-Channel
<Thargore> <_<
<Thargore> >_>
<Thargore> <_<
<Thargore> 30-15
* You were kicked from #tennis by Greg0r (the ball was OUT!)

[SG196]: yo
[SG196]: anyone here know where to get the HL2 beta
[Inh|sandler]: yes
[CitrusC]: We've all got it
[Inh|sandler]: www.w00tw00thl2beta.com/download.php
[SG196]: really?
[CitrusC]: This community is based on warez
[CitrusC]: Yeah, munro distributes it
[SG196]: sweet
[CitrusC]: think onions has it, too
[SG196]: finally, god has answered me
[CitrusC]: just pm him
[CitrusC]: he'll dcc it over
[SG196]: www.w00t gave me an error
[Inh|sandler]: :|
[SG196]: said it doesnt exist
[CitrusC]: fucking site
[SG196]: We can't find "www.w00tw00thl2beta.com/download.php"
[CitrusC]: They updated the server last week
[Inh|sandler]: guess it's down or smth
[CitrusC]: and it doesn't fucking respond anymore
[CitrusC]: their server has so many errors lately
[SG196]: can you send it to me?
[CitrusC]: Ain't got the iso, sorry
[CitrusC]: We got a updated version, not that 'patched' beta
[CitrusC]: It's nearly the final game!
[CitrusC]: We've been calling it .9 and only distribute it to our community, you see
[CitrusC]: keeps people here, ya know?
[SG196]: O_O
[CitrusC]: most of the mods have worked on it, in some form or another
[SG196]: any other links?
[SG196]: must...get...
[SG196]: X_X
[CitrusC]: Abom: Andrew|Work, Atari, ComradeBadger, D33, Himself, HotSoup, kayjay, onions, SeiferZ and sm|gone all did coding on it
[CitrusC]: stalker and synth did the audio
[CitrusC]: sorry mate, dcc only
[@SeiferZ]: :/
[CitrusC]: We try to keep it in the community, you know?
[Inh|sandler]: dcc only? it's 1.39gb
[Inh|sandler]: will take years
[CitrusC]: Well, you didn't mind waiting
[CitrusC]: you got past that prison boss, yet?
[SG196]: how long on DSL
::: Mode: (SeiferZ) sets (+b *!~SG196@###)
::: This (*!~SG196@###) ban affects (SG196)
::: Kick: (SG196) was kicked by (SeiferZ) (no :/)

-PM-

[SG196]: what happend?
[CitrusC]: He kicked you I think
[CitrusC]: damn, he banned you :/
[SG196]: !!!!!!!!
[SG196]: nooooo
[CitrusC]: sorry, there is normally a sign up thing any everythig
[CitrusC]: I'm not menta speak about it to people who ain't registered t oit
[SG196]: can you ask him to let me join or something?
[SG196]: all i wanted was HL2 :'(
[CitrusC]: I already told you too much, I'm so sorry man :( - check out www.halflife2world.com - if they are still active - they have another modified beta.. think they stole ours, too.
[CitrusC]: Well, I guess the good thing is that it is out in a month :)
[SG196]: lol, he wont let me come back?
[CitrusC]: I doubt it, seiferZ is a real badass.
[SG196]: you werent supposed to tell me about the project?
[SG196]: that you guys were working on
[CitrusC]: No, I wasn't
[CitrusC]: It can get us in a lot of trouble.
[SG196]: tell him ill keep my mouth shut
[SG196]: i promise
[CitrusC]: You see, we try to act like a respectable community, just for the cover, but we are actually trying to get hl2 sourcecode :/
[CitrusC]: He said if I carry on about it, he is going to ban me, too
[SG196]: lol
[SG196]: oh, what your doing is kinda illegal then, i see
[SG196]: and you dont want to get in trouble?
[SG196]: i can understand that
[CitrusC]: That's the idea, mate :(
[SG196]: lol, you dont have to worry with me, ill be quiet, ill probably forget about it in the next few days lol
[CitrusC]: Thank you so much, I am grateful.
[SG196]: i just wish your buddies would let me back =/
[CitrusC]: I can't do anything about it... sorry..
[SG196]: dang
[SG196]: :(
[SG196]: well, thats ok i guess
[SG196]: what are you guys gonna do with the code?
[SG196]: I have no idea what its for
[CitrusC]: Well, we were planning to create our own version of hl2, like, adding new enemies, some AI, etc.
[SG196]: cool
[SG196]: like a HL2 b4 HL2?
[SG196]: or something
[CitrusC]: We've currently got people working round the clock on valve relations, you see
[CitrusC]: We have so far managed to con them into lending one of their servers
[CitrusC]: it is only a matter of time.. they will let down their defenses..
[CitrusC]: Then we will STRIKE! ^_^
[SG196]: just hope you dont get caught
[SG196]: then there would be court cases like crazy
[CitrusC]: Seriously, have you never heard of munro and Badger?
[SG196]: nope
[CitrusC]: They used to do work with MICROSOFT
[CitrusC]: anti-hackers
[CitrusC]: they can crack anything man
[CitrusC]: Guess what..
[SG196]: they're on your team?
[CitrusC]: I shouldn't tell you this.. but we are the guys that managed to break into the valve server in the first place
[CitrusC]: Yup ^_^
[SG196]: lol
[SG196]: that whole stolen source code was you guys?
[CitrusC]: Yes :D
[SG196]: LOL!
[SG196]: didnt someone get caught though?
[CitrusC]: Yeah.. :/
[CitrusC]: We lost a guy called starmonkey..
[CitrusC]: He backed his stuff up too often.. they got him
[CitrusC]: I miss that guy
[SG196]: i read that 2 guys got caught tho
[SG196]: maybe misinfo
[CitrusC]: only the one, mate
[SG196]: what happened to him
[CitrusC]: We don't know, man
[CitrusC]: it's like he fucking diserpied
[CitrusC]: scary as shit
[CitrusC]: :/
[CitrusC]: His server doesn't exsist anymore, even all his logs are gone
[SG196]: jeez
[SG196]: does valve suspect you guys?
[CitrusC]: get this, you know the serial numbers on his machine?
[CitrusC]: We did a trace on them via microsoft.. They don't exist anymore..
[SG196]: O_o
[CitrusC]: Valve ain't got a clue :D
[SG196]: well thats good
[SG196]: on that site you gave me
[SG196]: where is the HL2 game
[[SG196]: lol
[CitrusC]: Look, I can't speak about it anymore, man
[SG196]: cant find it
[CitrusC]: Ask in their forums
[SG196]: oh, i understand
[CitrusC]: CAn't speak anymore, stripping the time tags is going to take long enough
[CitrusC]: thanks
[SG196]: you dont have to worry bout me
[SG196]: from here on we cant talk to each other?
[CitrusC]: That would be best :(
[SG196]: :(
[SG196]: that sux
[SG196]: your cool tho
[SG196]: you haxored teh valve
[SG196]: :P
[SG196]: hey CitrusC, just do one thing
[CitrusC]: Yeah?

(at this point we actually thought he caught on)

[SG196]: dont ever do what you just did right now
[CitrusC]: :D
[SG196]: cause the next person might be from valve
[SG196]: :P
[CitrusC]: roflmao
[CitrusC]: Actually, I'm giving you credit for taking it so well, lol
[SG196]: hey, lol, its true
[SG196]: im actually think its halarious that you guys did that
[SG196]: sucks that your guy got caught tho
[CitrusC]: lol
[SG196]: just never talk to anyone like you did to me
[SG196]: just for your safety
[CitrusC]: I'm sorry man, just find it proper funny, dunno why
[SG196]: id actually like you guys to get the code and do your stuff :D
[CitrusC]: we should really stop communication, man.. I could be being monitored for all we know
[SG196]: i would help but your friend blocked me and i dont know jack about hacking
[SG196]: yah
[SG196]: that too
[SG196]: since bush made that stupid bill
[CitrusC]: Seriously man, don't speak :(
[SG196]: im not gonna tell anyone dude
[SG196]: well, thanks for talking, cya forever probably
[CitrusC]: Ok, on behalf of this guy who feels sorry for you:
[CitrusC]: Half-life 2 .net is actually a respectable community and we were infact having you on for asking about the beta. XD
[CitrusC]: All of the above is rubbish, complete and utter rubbish! :X
[SG196]: yup
[CitrusC]: oh, fuck it man
[SG196]: what
[CitrusC]: No point trying to cover the shit up, I told you too much already
[CitrusC]: Just don't tell no-one, ok?
[SG196]: i told you i wont, who will listen to a 14 yr old CPU geek
[SG196]: lol
[CitrusC]: Thanks man. I've noted ya addy, will give you a shout when we get it finished, k?
[SG196]: if anyone asks me if we talked to each other, ill deny it ok
[CitrusC]: K dude

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

<evangelic> is it actually possible to suck ur own willy? :o

[Deviant`] Davo`s mother plays the cock flute
[Pobz] Davo`s mother plays her own cock flute
[+Davo`] i play my own cock flute while looking at your pictures, wearing nothing but pantyhose while sitting on a butt plug, painted green, to remind me of the greenhouse effect we're causing to the earths atmosphere. it pains me. god, it pains me.
[@qui] Davo` - you really are fucked in the head!

<+wrigley> my mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch

<CutieGirl900> JESUS DIED FOR U
<CutieGirl900> ALL OF US TO SAVE OUR SINS
<CutieGirl900> DO U KNOW WHAT SIN ARE
<Pancakes81> opposite over hypotenuse

<ZoFreX> I am a muppet sometimes
<_MAXX_> We all are ^_^
<_MAXX_> Although I've never really had someone stick their hand up my ass and make funny noises though
<ZoFreX> I'm sorry, WHAT?

<Thargore> SOILENT GREEN
<Thargore> IS PEOPLE!
<ZoFreX> *soylent
<Thargore> i soiled your mom
<ZoFreX> nice comeback
<Thargore> i came nicely on your mom's back
<Thargore> that's it, ive got a whole arsenal of those
<ZoFreX> as long as you leave my mum's arsenal alone
<Thargore> nobody does your mom arsenally
<Thargore> to be frank, she has quite a big bottom
<ZoFreX> you're scraping the bottom of the barrel of your mom jokes now
<Thargore> when i tried to do your mom arsenally, i only managed to scrape her barrel bottom

<D33> Anyone in here reckon they know a fair bit on mobile phones ?
<phantom> maybe... i claim to know a fair bit about most things
<phantom> but, i warn you, this may require one liners ;(
<Brocken> phantom the first time you used a mobile you thought you had to press the buttons and communicate via morse code
<Blood_God> heh
<Blood_God> lol
<phantom> Brocken, it worked still ;(
<Melly> lies
<Brocken> yeah but you don’t know morse code, you ended up telling me I had nice goats and you wanted to stroke my kitkat :/
<phantom> no... that was really what i said ;(
<Brocken> ah
<Blood_God> lol
<Melly> mm goats
<Melly> they are nice goats Brocken, i agree
* Brocken squeezes his goats together
<phantom> o.O
* Melly puts wet kitkat in the goats
<Zerimski> ...stop
<Pi|Mu|Rho> SICKO!
* Blood_God /clears
<phantom> is it wrong to be turned on by that?
<Blood_God> YES1
<Zerimski> no
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Yes. Very.
<Blood_God> ROFL
<Melly> chocolate goat :D
<phantom> well if its wrong.. I DONT WANT TO BE RIGHT DAMN IT!!!

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

<NukNuk> lets play some css
<Qwertywasd> Ok
<Qwertywasd> lets
<Qwertywasd> Alright team lets move out!
<Qwertywasd> The Bomb Has Been Planted
<NukNuk> Fire in the hole!
<theGreenBunny> it all makes sense now
<Qwertywasd> Lets Go Go Go!
<b3nn1> Beep
<b3nn1> Beep
<NukNuk> beep
<Necro^Sick> Enemy Spotted!
<Qwertywasd> You Take The Point
<b3nn1> Beep *faster beep*
<b3nn1> Beep *faster beep*
<b3nn1> Beep *faster beep*
* Andrew sets mode: +b *!*@xdsl-213-168-110-71.netcologne.de
b3nn1 was kicked by Andrew (Repeating (3r in 10s), 15m tempban! <76>)
<Maxi^> The bomb has been defused
<Qwertywasd> lmfao
<Maxi^> Counter-terrorists win

<Thaum> if i do write a poem its gonna be like. roses are red
<Thaum> violets are blue.
<Thaum> get into bed
<Thaum> i want to fuck you
<Thaum> or something.
<@Linus> heh
<Thul> :D
<@Linus> roses are red
<@Linus> cabage is green
<@Linus> if i open my legs
<Thaum> lol
<@Linus> will you fill me with your cream?
<Thaum> .............................
<Thul> :D
Thaum> my personal favorites are. roses are red violets are blue, this line doesnt rhyme and neither does this one.
<Thaum> roses are red violets are blue, ill fuck you with a rake
<Quixef[XZ]> :P
<Thaum> and roses are red, violets are blue, in communist russia, poems write you.
<Thul> :DD

<+Josh> About a year or so ago, being the lazy fuck I am, would do my business (that means jacking off, people) on this chair, and my seed would land on this loney stretch of carpet at the corner of the room, far enough out of the way that I didn't have to worry about cleaning
<+Josh> Disgusting, yes.
<+Josh> This goes on for a few months, with me paying little attention to the condition of my carpeting.
<+Josh> Then I start noticing that whenever I enter said room, something sets off my sensitive allergies and sends me into a pleasant sneezing/coughing fit. I search the room as best I can for the source, but to no avail
<+Josh> Anywho, few more weeks pass as I learn to live with it, usually by scarfing numerous antihistamines whenever I go in.
<+Josh> Then one day I notice it.
<+Josh> There's shit GROWING on that lone, semen-stained stretch of carpet.
<+Josh> Initially this is subject to my amusement
<+Josh> I watch it for a few days, and hey, more and more fungi begin sprouting at an alarming rate.
<+Josh> This is when I inform #bored of the strange mushroom-like fungus propagating on my carpet, and its milky origins.
<+Josh> Many laughs are had, and a few loud vomets.
<+Josh> The matter passes, and shortly after when I go to move out, we notice something
<+Josh> And by 'we', I mean the landlord's guys
<+Josh> They discover that there is a horrendous case of mutant mildew (or so it was assumed) in the room.
<+Josh> This was no new to me, and I explain it had been there for a while, but am mum about its origins (later I tell them it was spilt milk).
<+Josh> The carpet in this area is completely destroyed by fungus.
<+Josh> So, the head super decides in his infinite wisdow to pull up the carpet, kill the fungus, then replace the damaged spot
<+Josh> So they pull up ALL the carpet in the room, only to discover..
<+Josh> IT IS EVERYWHERE
<+Josh> Yes, my friends, this mutant semen fungi had not only consumed its allotted square, but then it had gone and SPREAD UNDER THE CARPET
<+Josh> So strong was its roots, that it was learned that it had dug into the concreate
<+Josh> I repeat: the fungus had dug into the concreate
<+Josh> I later learned that that room had required signifigant renovation and fumigation
<+Josh> But, fuck, I didn't care, I had already moved.
<+Josh> So, to sum up
<+Josh> My semen caused what may have added up to thousands of dollars of damage to a room.
<+Josh> And I am also responsible for creating the most disgusting form of fungi ever.
<+Josh> In short: Clean up after yourselves, you lazy bitches.
<+Josh> Oh, and I didn't pay a cent towards the damages

(Steelo) phanneh
(Steelo) i’m gonna copy u
(Blood_God) o_O
(Blood_God) what, grow ridiculously long hair?
(Steelo) ye

<@CheeryE> right im off to bed with laptop so brb in 10 mins
*** Bad-Co is now known as Laptop
<@Laptop> brb in 10 mins

<OMEN^> ok...
<OMEN^> i used to buy these mango's off these kids in cairns
<OMEN^> all the time
<OMEN^> cos i thought it was great they had a stall on the corner of the street
<OMEN^> making a bit of money for themselves
<OMEN^> this went on for about 2 weeks
<Ressah> should have just beat em up and stole them
<OMEN^> then i caught the little shits stealing mango's off my 2 trees
<Ressah> rofl
<OMEN^> i was buying my own fucking mango's
<OMEN^> :/
<Gaspode> LOL
<Ressah> HAHAHAHA
<Gaspode> classic
<mudslide> pwn'd

<Thargore> and MS Word suggested that I use the word "Fruitier" to describe the wavelength of my own voice instead of "Noisier"
<Thargore> fucking MS Word is calling me gay

<MrWibble> i have an itch on my head now
* Quad5Ny itches matts head
<doser> in my entire life, i only get an itchy head when im playing on a console and i need both hands
<doser> sods fucking law.
<doser> or when im playing a duel in q3 and i need 100% concentration
<doser> my legs always start itching

<parpar> souleh, didn’t I tell you to suck my shemale penis?
<parpar> Get on your knees and give me twenty
<souleh> I dont have a magnifying glass handy
<souleh> lend me one and I’ll try and find it
<souleh> but i cant suck what i cant see
* parpar hands souleh a laser microscope
<souleh> why, thankyou.

-[ Marik ]- hello whats CTRL+Rdo ?
-[ Heartwork|ZzZ ]- try and see
-[ Synbios ]- Pod, that doesn't work with current mIRC versions because it has a popup :p
-[ Synbios ]- rofl
-[ Pod- ]- Marik: the same as alt+f+x
---- Marik has quit irc (Read error: EOF from client) ----
-[ Pod- ]- :(

([TFF]monkey): US father names son ’Version 2.0’ : http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3451207.stm
(MD87): Old news
([TFF]monkey): oh well sorreeeee MD87
([TFF]monkey): shall we call you em dee fucking trevor mcdonald bastard eighty-fucking-seven from now on?

(traesko) I cried today..
(traesko) I saw Brother Bear..
(traesko) the ending is so beautiful..
! @Spudman kills traesko
(@Spudman) men dont cry!
(@Spudman) unless its to the ending of west side story
(traesko) Spudman: yes they do..
(@Spudman) *sniff*
! @Spudman gets out the tissue
(traesko) I sometimes cry when i watch oprah damnit..

<qui> Marik - if you had more than 2 braincells you'd be dangerous
<Marik> how i find out?

[@evangelic] our new BF member
[@evangelic] is gay
[@evangelic] and keeps flirting with me

[@nH`AuroN]: o man
[@nH`AuroN]: i just farted and wee came out
[+wdN|vamp]: please be lieing
[+scopeh]: omg, stop
[+M3^JasoN]: rofl auron

<Freakdoom> you know
<Freakdoom> i love all my friends
<Freakdoom> your like a second family to me
<Freakdoom> just say my entire family was killed somehow
<Freakdoom> would you let me live with you?
<Freakdoom> :D
<Zy> of course
<Freakdoom> yay :D
* Freakdoom is away: killing family

<@Profliebstrom> Love is like wetting yourself, everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth

<ComradeBadger> heh
<ComradeBadger> my friend's mum was having a go at her for wearing a such a short skirt.. and she said
<ComradeBadger> 'If you go out with a skirt that short, you'll get chapped lips'
* ComradeBadger sniggers
<Ferg> got pics?

[15:59] (D33|BTBilling): StarMonkey, I have a few good sites for you to look at, they're ... oh wait.. you're 56k
[15:59] (D33|BTBilling): snigger

[16:02] (StarMonkey): i have an idea

[16:04] *** Quits: [2]Player (~ogh@orac.34sp.com) (G-lined)
[16:04] *** Quits: [7]Player (~ogh@orac.34sp.com) (G-lined)
[16:04] *** Quits: D33|BTBilling (~ogh@orac.34sp.com) (G-lined)
[16:04] *** Quits: [0]Player (~ogh@orac.34sp.com) (G-lined)
[16:04] (StarMonkey): aAAAAAAHAHAhah
[16:04] (deff): pwned
[16:04] (deff): :E
[16:04] (StarMonkey): me > d33

<D33> k
<D33> picture the scene
<D33> there i was, driving down the carridgeway at a steady 90mph
<D33> the road was clear, life was good, i had no troubles
<D33> WHEN BAM
<D33> a fucking bird
<D33> flies out of nowhere
<D33> hits my windscreen wipers
<D33> then the windscreen
<D33> feathers, blood, bits of bird, you fucking name it
<D33> all over the place
<ManiC^> kitchen sink ?
<D33> well fuck me tbh :/
<Synbios> :/
<jimbobaggies> no ta
<D33> I'm still trying to get to grips with it
<D33> I have .... bird blood... on my car..
<ManiC^> pressure washer
<D33> and feathers...
<ManiC^> :p
<D33> FEATHERS FFS!
<Drkwoman> murdered by d33
<Drkwoman> :<
<Synbios> well, you did what Dick Dastardly has been trying to do for 35 years
<ManiC^> lol
<jimbobaggies> roflmfao
<jimbobaggies> catch the pigeon, catch the pigeon....

(CitrusC) Can anyone here read the kerrang?
(CitrusC) That jewish book
(@[Matt]) wtf?
(CitrusC) About god and shit?
(CitrusC) It's like the jewish bible, I think
(@[Matt]) lol
(@[Matt]) Kerrang is my bible
(@[Matt]) but its not a jewish holy book you eeeejit
(Kuros^) CitrusC, kerrang? I really hope you don't mean the quoran? (Koran)
(Kuros) :q
(CitrusC) ?
(Kuros) ...
(CitrusC) Whatever
(CitrusC) it sounds like kerrang
(CitrusC) the jewish bible
(dura) best mispelling of the year.
(CitrusC) about allah
(Kuros) Please tell me you are not this ignorant.
(dura) I hope he's joking. :).
(CitrusC) ignorent??
(@[Matt]) CitrusC
(@[Matt]) allah = islamic name for god
(@[Matt]) khoran = islamic holy book
(CitrusC) ahh
(@[Matt]) eeeejit
(CitrusC) so it's the islamic bible?
(Kuros) O_O O_O O_O O_O
(Kuros) How old are you CitrusC? :0
(CitrusC) 17. Yourself?
(Kuros) 21.
(Kuros) Don't you learn religion at school?
(@[Matt]) if you wish to know the jewish holy book is called the tanakh
(CitrusC) Yeah, they tried to teach some of it
(@[Matt]) CitrusC
(@[Matt]) my holy book is the kerrang
(@[Matt]) ;)
(CitrusC) I can't say I payed much attention. Waste of time where I could be educated.
(CitrusC) Thought it was odd that the alternative music mag was named after it, tbh
(@[Matt]) rofl

<@RiCoChEt> wow its really raining loads here
<@Matt-> rain?
<@Matt-> on irc?

([Matt]): think i was watching tommy cooper on live TV when he died....
([Matt]): was only about 4 or 5 i think
(Marik): how he die?
(Pi|Mu|Rho): just like that.

[Deviant`] Thargore is a damn dirty word
[Thargore] so is cunt
[Thargore] yet people adore them
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] people also stick penises in them
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] do people stick penises in you, Thargore
[Thargore] They try!

<Ben> we have normal, hateful families
<Ben> not your " i love you" family

<Pobz> you guys up me crack
<Pobz> i mean crack me up

<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway, so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.

<poppy> u get my text??
<daisy> yer i did
<daisy> but i was driving at the time so i cudnt reply
<poppy> lol aww. i cudda taken ur life with a txt
<poppy> [takes up O2's 100 free texts a month offer]
<daisy> grrr

<ShaggyShaggs> what's up?
<smirkingplague> ..heeey
<smirkingplague> I'm quitting my job
<smirkingplague> today
<smirkingplague> .. in a couple hours
<ShaggyShaggs> hmmm
<smirkingplague> .. and I'm not telling anyone. I'm just simply not going to go.
<ShaggyShaggs> you're telling me :-P
<smirkingplague> Oh well, I mean anyone who works at my job.
<smirkingplague> And when they call..
<smirkingplague> I'm not going to answer.
<ShaggyShaggs> how do you know I don't?
<smirkingplague> ...
<smirkingplague> You're of the male gender right?
<ShaggyShaggs> as far as you know... internet anonymity is odd like that
<smirkingplague> hmm.. well.. I'm pretty sure you don't..
<smirkingplague> and even if you did..
<smirkingplague> you'd only know it was me at 10AM when I don't show up..
<smirkingplague> which I will be sleeping by then..

<ShaggyShaggs> so what brought about the decision to quit?
<smirkingplague> the fact that the fucking bitch cut my wages down to $5 when I was making 6.5 which is minimum wage in this state..and then erased ten hours from my last scheduled pay period so I only got paid for 24.5 instead of 34.5 and then telling me I have to dress up and wear full makeup to serve hotdogs
<ShaggyShaggs> hmmm
<ShaggyShaggs> there's a better way to quit that sort of job
<smirkingplague> my first plan was to go in there and walk out.
<ShaggyShaggs> I think the state calls it Assault Causing Grievous Bodily Harm
<smirkingplague> ... Now that sounds like a plan.
<ShaggyShaggs> it even has benefits
<ShaggyShaggs> if you stick around when the men in the cars with the flashing lights show up, the state provides your room and board and medical and such
<smirkingplague> ah, yes, so then I don't have to worry about getting another job right away
<ShaggyShaggs> exactly
<ShaggyShaggs> gives you time to plan out your career path without the stress of wondering where your next meal will come from
<smirkingplague> hmm.. Brilliant...
<ShaggyShaggs> sometimes the other guests of the state will even teach you a trade
<ShaggyShaggs> such as winemaking or knifecrafting using common inconspicuous items
<smirkingplague> I could use that winemaking skill

<gh0st>: I'm walking around my store when I walk by the bathroom hallway. Basically, there was a sphere maybe 20 feet around the entrance to this hallway where the smell of shit, HUMAN SHIT, was so bad my eyes teared up; honestly it was hard to even breathe around it. I braved a glimpse down the hall and found a small poopie hanging out from under the doorway (like someone had shit in the door, then plopped the door on it.) I thought that wasent so bad, but when I opened the door... holy cow.

Have any of you ever seen the movie Backdraft? Basically a huge flame of shit smell enveloped me and nearly knocked me over. I put my shirt over my mouth, but even the heavy polo shirt wouldnt protect me from this. It sank into my very being. When I opened my eyes I felt the urge to saw my eyes out of my skull. Poop was everywhere. It was on the floor, the walls, the sink, the urinals, the toilets, there was even a long streak across the ceiling, like somebody had taken one of their turds (which by this time were mangled to smell recognition only) and thrown it across the ceiling. One was even sticking to the top, barely hanging on. Basically it was like the exorcist, where the little girl, instead of split pea soup, had spewed forth gallons of shit. I am not even joking, this was the work of ONE MAN. I cannot emphasize the amount of shit that must have come forth from his bowels to cause this mess.

everything i've ever seen in my life pales to my experience at this store. the amount of human, animal, and bird shit i see on a day to day basis at this store is astonishing. the wasting an entire tp roll is pretty common too, and absolutely disgusting.

the worst thing is though, that the asshole decided to smear shit all over the door knob so i couldnt get the fuck out after i was in there, and they took out all the paper towels and smeared them in poop. i had to use my phone to call for help.

<HyperChris> rolf harris needs to bring out his own brand of signature mayonnaise
<HyperChris> and call it ROFLMAO

<@slinter> imagine you get driven over by some tank in your car while waiting on a light
<@Thargore> erm, that would suck
<@slinter> yea, i mean they dont see too well in those tanks
<@slinter> its like when someone wants to fuck you in the ass and you cant escape ><
<@Thargore> ah, like that
<@Thargore> but instead of a penis, its an artillery tank
<@slinter> yea, anal(!)ogy

<@TheRandom> !roulette
* &GameServ loads the gun and sets it on the table
<@TheRandom> !shoot
<&GameServ> Click...
<@TheRandom> !shoot
<&GameServ> Click...
<@TheRandom> !shoot
<&GameServ> Click...
<@TheRandom> !shoot
<&GameServ> Click...
<@TheRandom> !shoot
<&GameServ> Click...
<@TheRandom> Your turn.

<Jenn> try putting one drop of black food coloring in a glass of milk and drink it
<Sierro> i once played drinking draughts (checkers) with a mate
<Jenn> it's funny
<Sierro> had to colour the vodkas with food colouring to tell the difference
<Sierro> was fine
<Sierro> though my poo was blue the next day
<Jenn> it's almost impossible to bring yourself to drinking it though you know it's fine
<Sierro> :D
<onions> like carling

<Heartwork> you know you've had too much to drink when you find yourself staring at your sisters arse.

[18:48] <Rasak> Customer is always right
[18:48] <Customer> Yes, I am
[18:48] <Customer> Rasak r ghey.

<Trimbo> omg
<Trimbo> i havnt rebooted in 3 days
<Trimbo> on my xp laptop
* Trimbo (sdf@[AO]Trimbo.users.quakenet.org) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<OmeGa`> I have a gay friend :/
<Luggage> i have 3 gay freinds and 2 bi friends
<OmeGa`> and.. he’s weard :/
<Luggage> lol
<Batz> lol
<Batz> they are ffs
<Luggage> 1 of the gay guys is weird
<Luggage> the other two aint that weird
<Batz> your talking about fit birds
<Batz> and then he’s like
<SAngel> nowdays you can’t tell the diferent sometimes
<Batz> "oooh, so and so guy is fit"
<Luggage> yeah
* Narly has joined #redeemers
* Q sets mode: +o Narly
* noo sets mode: +v Narly
<Batz> ooer, lo narly
<Luggage> some ppl go out of their way to say "OMG LOOK IM GAY"
<SAngel> Megs you could a have a gay friend that acts like a straight person, and you don’t even know
<Luggage> idd megs
<Narly> lo bitches
<Luggage> 2o/
<Batz> yea saz
<Luggage> :P
<Batz> lo narly
<Batz> :E
<Narly> tis l8 - an im pished
<Luggage> lo narly 2o/
<SAngel> hello manwhore :]
<Batz> rofl
<OmeGa`> I do have a gay friend :/
<Luggage> wp
<OmeGa`> his name is andre :/
<Batz> ROFL
<Batz> peter andre?
<OmeGa`> and.. he poos of the roof :(
<Luggage> rofl;
<Luggage> ROFFFFFFFL
<Luggage> rofl dan
<Luggage> :E
<Batz> LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
<Batz> :D
<Luggage> rooooooooopoooooooooooofffffffffffl megsd
<Luggage> rlkhsdras
<Luggage> ;ppol
<Batz> lolol
<Luggage> lol
<Luggage> dodgy shit
<Luggage> ;E
<SAngel> he what??
<Batz> :E
<OmeGa`> I filmed it on my phone :/
<Batz> ROFL
<Luggage> rofl
<OmeGa`> once I get bluetooth
<Luggage> on the fucking quote it goes
<Batz> megs, your the man
<Batz> :D
<OmeGa`> I’m gonna show you if you dont beleave me :(
<Batz> lol no ta megs
<Luggage> rofl pls dont megs

({SCF}TJF) might wana eat some prunes tho
(D33`) :o
(Blood_God) 0_o
(D33`) dare i ask why, even though i suspect i know the answer?
(Blood_God) if you don’t i will.
({SCF}TJF) they have codine in them
(D33`) and that means ?
({SCF}TJF) will make you sleepy and give you "brick turds"
(Blood_God) lol.
(D33`) oh good
(D33`) they’ve been coming out sloppy
(D33`) take extra paper to wipe my cheeks clean
(Blood_God) ew..
(D33`) will be a nice change

[18:15] <+Kjata> so whats every1s recommendations for a new case then?
[18:15] <+Kjata> max cost preferably 100quid
[18:15] <+Kjata> mibbe more
[18:16] <Bad-Co> samsonite
[18:16] <Intron> carboard box with lots of Parcle Tape
[18:17] <+Kjata> url BC?
[[18:17] <Bad-Co> Kjata
[18:17] <Bad-Co> http://www.samsonitecompanystores.com/webapp/scs/servlet/SProductSelector?productcategory=C05&storeId=10151&langId=-1

* Algol has joined #halflife2
<Zakat> ::P
<DiSTuRbEdofX> Don’t call me dear , I am not gay like you
<Zakat> :P*
<Zakat> Got a problem with my sexuallity?
<mrBadger> let’s not start anything eh?
* Algol has left #halflife2

@ftz|lmts: I tried phone sex once. I got an ear infection.

(Sprite): boiled egg?
(Sprite): im a spack cook
(LoneGun): sprite just do in microwave for like 2 mins
(Sprite): on it's own lonegun ?
(LoneGun): aye sprite
(Ched): 2 mins
(Ched): for 650 watt microwave
(Sprite): so a egg, in a bowl, on it's own for 2 mins in a microwave ?
(Sprite): n1 im off to cook
(Sprite): k guys
(Sprite): u guys are cocks
(Sprite): the egg just blow up

<stuie> btw marik kennex pwns ur lil bike
<Marik^> who is kennex?
<Marik^> ?
<stuie> kennex connex something along those lines
<Marik^> wtf you on about dude?
<Longbow[GB]> lol
<stuie> do you know what i mean Longbow[GB]?
<stuie> and i'm not a dude i told you to call me Mr stu
<Longbow[GB]> yes
<stuie> see Longbow[GB] understands me
* stuie sighs
<Marik^> you mean k-nex?
<stuie> never try to tell a moron about something good
<Longbow[GB]> ^^
<stuie> yeah i said something like that
<Marik^> no you didnt
<stuie> kennex - almost connex
<Marik^> you said :Kennex i said: k-nex
<Longbow[GB]> (16:21:38) <stuie> i think i might of got pwned by marik
<Longbow[GB]> (16:21:41) <stuie> :'(
<Longbow[GB]> lol
<stuie> k-nex
* stuie cries

(traesko) mp3 ? Dumbo - When I See An Elephant Fly (01:47/128kbps) ||| d(')')b
(Punzz) ........
(@himself) traesko
(@himself) you NEED medical HELP

[Marik] i want girl!
[Marik] i fancy someone
[Marik] but i dont think see likes me :(
[_Deviant] Marik just go up to her and be honest
[Marik] _Deviant she might hit me
[_Deviant] if thats the worse u can expect then go right aheard
[Marik] _Deviant she might pull my willeh
[_Deviant] well thats what u want dont u ?

<Marik> im new to this thing
<Abomi> life?
<Marik> no
<Marik> intranet

<Marik> whats 'double you tee eff' means
<Pod`> you're an eejit, arn't you?
<Marik> no

{@c-rOCK} im sitting here
{@c-rOCK} and from my tv all i hear is this ladys voice go
{@c-rOCK} big....heavy jugs
{@c-rOCK} and im like WHAT
{@c-rOCK} and its just a brita commercial
{@c-rOCK} :[

<MrSparrow> Whats wrong with Monty Python?
<Zerimski> it pollutes the minds of innocent young children.
<Zerimski> filling it them with spam and Defense Against Attacks With Fresh Fruit classes.
<Abomi> Better than education.
<Zerimski> yeah
<Zerimski> look, I'll show you
<Zerimski> come at me with that banana
<Fen|Away> LOL!
<Zerimski> no, really
<Zerimski> come on
<Zerimski> give it all you've got
Fen|Away comes at Zerimski with a banana
Zerimski shoots Fen|Away

<Axem> So a friend of mine went to see Passion of the Christ, and at the part where they break Jesus's legs with the hammer, someone yells out "Stop!" He instinctively yells out "Hammertime!"

<LOLMAN-> TEHRE APPEARS TO BE AN AIMBOTTAR ON TEH LOLMAN SERVAR :<
<LOLMAN-> NAEM IS "BUMMER", SO ITS POSSIBLE TAHT HE LIKES ANAL
<limited> OMFG RAELLY!
<LOLMAN-> THUOGH I REALIESE THAT IS IRRELEVANT
<LOLMAN-> BAN ASAP
<limited> NICKLAME?!
<LOLMAN-> NO HES BOTTIGN :E
<limited> NICKNAME?
<LOLMAN-> BUMMER
<limited> BANNZ0RED!!!1!
<LOLMAN-> HE LEFT :F
<LOLMAN-> OHH RITE
<LOLMAN-> LEET :DDD
<LOLMAN-> THANX MAN
<limited> np ;)
<LOLMAN-> OHH MAN, TEHRES SOEM OTHAR LAEMER NOW, TAEMKILLING EVARYONE
<LOLMAN-> NICKNAME IS "LOLMAN"
<LOLMAN-> :DDDDDDD
<limited> AHR AHR!

<ZoFreX> I leave to sleep now, have this limerick:
<ZoFreX> A programmer started to cuss
<ZoFreX> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<ZoFreX> As he lay there in bed
<ZoFreX> Looping 'round in his head
<ZoFreX> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

<Kealiki> the next girl is coming to measure my room tomorrow around noon
<Kealiki> so it needs to be in some order.
<ShaggyShaggs> heh
<ShaggyShaggs> you traded your sister for another one?
<Kealiki> hell yes.
<Kealiki> Its bigger, AND I can keep my computer in there
<Kealiki> as well as no longer have people trapsing through my room to get to the storage in the closet
<Kealiki> the only thing is its the room that you can hear everything from the rest of the house in.
<ShaggyShaggs> ...
<ShaggyShaggs> bwahahaha
<ShaggyShaggs> I think you were thinking something other than what I meant
<Kealiki> o.0
<Kealiki> most likely.
<ShaggyShaggs> I meant another sister
<Kealiki> wtf were you thinking?
<Kealiki> oh...
<Kealiki> I traded my sister for her room
<Kealiki> but yes
<Kealiki> I traded my sister for a new roomie :P
<ShaggyShaggs> well reread your response with that in mind, lol
<Kealiki> ....
<Kealiki> . . .
<Kealiki> you are one sick fuck.

<daisy> im knitting
<avon> what are you knitting?
<daisy> dunno

<Davo`> Has your brother ever thrown a dart at your head? That hurts
<Davo`> True story, actually
<Davo`> Thankfully it didnt reach the bone, it just flopped out
<Davo`> ... and I'm still talking about the dart

estling: Hmm.. What's that thing you use to clean the floors with?
Pi|Mu|Rho: Women?

<_MAXX_> Zofrex thinks i look nice today
<_MAXX_> he's bi
<Velfolt> so are you
<_MAXX_> im not
<ZoFreX> I said I was maybe bi
<_MAXX_> i bat for the team that fancies girls
<_MAXX_> and only that team!
<ZoFreX> meh
<ZoFreX> I'd swing for brad pitt

Davo`: How do you make a person with Down's syndrome stop crying? You take your foot off his head
Davo`: Thank you
Davo`: I'm here all night

<Poppy> fuck
<Poppy> a moth just landed on the monitor
<Daisy> ha
<Poppy> and i went to right click and select "delete"
<Daisy> ha ha ha
<Daisy> u idiot

<Kealiki> The only thing I ever got in trouble for...
<Kealiki> and this really should have clued everyone into the fact that perhaps I was a tad desensitized....
<Kealiki> was when we were writing in this book the day after our trip to Spruce Meadows (Horse Jumping shows and whatnot)
<Kealiki> our trip was corporate sponsored, so we were all writing thank you notes and things we liked about the trip to the company
<Kealiki> I wrote "I loved the trip! My favorite part was when the horse crashed and pinned the woman".
<Kealiki> I didnt realize it was wrong to say that until I got the detention.
<DrunkenBug> you got a detention?
<ShaggyShaggs> that RULES
<DrunkenBug> for that?
<Kealiki> Yeh, I got detention.
<Kealiki> because I "ruined the class gift" to the people
<ShaggyShaggs> that part doesn't rule so much
<Kealiki> I was like "YOU CAN ERASE IT IF YOU WANT TO TELL LIES"
<Kealiki> I got a second detention for that.

<Thargore> and now i'll use the arts of mime to draw you an idea about how my day was
* Thargore smashes face onto desk
<DizzyOne> you saw a woodpecker?

<meeeeee> i joined some teaching thingy, but then it went all urgh and i got kicked off here
<meeeeee> but it didnt say anyone kicked me so it was just urgh
<@bulletmagnet> im not surprised
<meeeeee> and now ive forgotten how to get on the teaching thingy!
<Lt_Patch> Leave: ~hannah@82-43-170-3.cable.ubr05.newm.blueyonder.co.uk left (Left all channels)
<meeeeee> i didnt!
<Lt_Patch> according to that, you closed the connection
<meeeeee> how do i do that?
<Lt_Patch> by closing the box that says "QuakeNet"
<meeeeee> how?
<Lt_Patch> little X at the top right hand corner of the window that says "QuakeNet"
<meeeeee> the red x thingy?
<Lt_Patch> dunno, try it
<meeeeee> ok
*** meeeeee quit (Quit: Leaving)

<Stingey> i gotta stop flushing my mouth with cola really
<Pi|Mu|Rho> try hemlock instead
* Stingey goes googling
<Stingey> First hit
<Stingey> Welcome to End-of-Life Choices.
<Stingey> Hemlock, or poison hemlock, is a large, coarse, unpleasant-smelling plant, all parts of which are poisonous and may be fatal if eaten. It is the poison hemlock that was used to put Socrates to death.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Try it. You might like it.