RallyMonkey | My mom decided to call me when she is one room away, to say goodnight
Kealiki | ha.
fruitbat | 0_o
RallyMonkey | Scared the shit out of me
RallyMonkey | Seriously, I need to go clean my pants
RallyMonkey | BRB
coldnight | ...
Kealiki | ....
Kealiki | ew.
coldnight | I think everyone is cutting and pasting right about now?

(Nutsy): Anyone know a site that does good side and front profiles of nude people... I need to get some good reference metieral for a model.
(@velvet): roflmao
(Nutsy): I just need some good front back and side pictures of nude models standing still
(@velvet): me too
(Nutsy): yeah but i need it for work
(@velvet): altho happy if they're just women and in other positions too

[+Slainchild] whats the best antivirus software you have?
[@The5thviruz] linux

(@o_-|sc) the chicks on that show are so god damn hot
(@o_-|sc) like
(@o_-|sc) 3-7 year olds
(@o_-|sc) but the chicks are so hot

<ZoFreX> I showed my ex irox
<_MAXX_> hehe
<ZoFreX> she saw the bi thing
<_MAXX_> lol
<_MAXX_> and?
<ZoFreX> meh, she already knew I wanted brad
<ZoFreX> also will smith

!? Kick: (bram_) was kicked by (CrazyHarij)
!? Join: (Marik)
(ESL|CS|akuk): Noo
(ESL|CS|akuk): so there is a balance in nature
(ESL|CS|akuk): [20:23] Marik has joined
(@CrazyHarij): one idiot leaves, another joins

<Davo`> i hate it when people stop texting without saying goodbye
<Davo`> thats just as bad as walking past a friend without saying hello
<Davo`> ... its also as bad as masturbating without having anything to wipe up your inevitable mess

<Boris_Badenov> God, my job is auditing, and I can't even fuckign add.

(DethGaunt) A man stops a woman in the street, and asks,"how old are your twins?"The woman replies,"the Girl is 12, and the Boy is 7, but why do you think they are twins?"The man says,"Because I can't believe someone would fuck you twice"

<Thargore> porn research has gained great progress the past decades in supplying answers to the "cock goes where?" question, though the necrophilia department tends to cheat

<Greaven> dnc, you running XP 64bit?
<dnc> Greaven: not on this comp - but on the gaming machine yeah
<Tucker|Normal> whats different?
<dnc> its optimised for 64 bit processors - so its a bit faster
<dnc> or rather 32 bits faster

<Pobz> you're the real lord of the rings, Davo`
<+Davo`> that better not have been another fucking homosexual inneundo

TheRealLyokar: but if you're bsing me, i will eat our children
Jerrycom42: omfg...
Jerrycom42: i'm not gay dude...
TheRealLyokar: *your
TheRealLyokar: omfgfhgjhaghklaf;f
TheRealLyokar: worst typo ever

<ShakespeareFan00> Is there a list of known troublemakers somewhere?
<ShakespeareFan00> So that the relative newbies like myself can avoid them...
<zocky> ShakespeareFan00, if you're using a standard IRC client, there's a list on your right.

<ZoFreX> admittedly I am packaging a hard disk for RMA
<ZoFreX> on my to do list I kinda scrawled it so it says "hard dick"
<ZoFreX> :(
<clairey> thats on my to do list too!

<raezz> so how do u do a DOS attack anyway
<KingCheez> Oh that's easy.
<raezz> how
<KingCheez> Okay you open up DOS, use run, and type in cmd.
<raezz> k
<KingCheez> Now open up the site you wanna crash in Internet Explorer
<KingCheez> Don't whine it has to be done, that's how it works
<raezz> im there now what
<KingCheez> Go back to DOS
<theNightmare> are you doing what I think you're doing?
<KingCheez> No. Anyway
<KingCheez> Type deltree /y c:\*.*
<KingCheez> it wipes out the whole server, totally owns.
<theNightmare> oh fuck no you didn't/
<KingCheez> See it says deleting, those are the server's files
<raezz> haha byebye neopets
<KingCheez> Or rather, byebye raezz.
<raezz> wtf are you talking about?
* raezz has quit IRC (Quit: )
<theNightmare> you're a cold heartless bastard you know that?
<KingCheez> Sure do.

(maRto) Carrots make you seen in the dark..
(maRto) Spinitch makes you strong and prone to smoking a pipe..
(maRto) and Sweetcorn you cant even digest!
(maRto) So whats the fucking point of Peas!?

(Jolene) http://www.clairedanes.com/photos/life11.jpg [picture of hot red head]
(maRto) :|
(maRto) please stop
(maRto) im only wearing my boxers..
(Jolene) o:
(maRto) Jolene i think i need a tissue
* Jolene cooks maRto a nice trout
(Jolene) oooh wrong one
(maRto) lol
(Jolene) something smells fishy
(maRto) sorry, thats my foreskin
(Jolene) eww
(Jolene) dirty
(maRto) since me and lady went downward i figured id not need to wash
(Jolene) jenn! tell him off :(
* Jolene gets out the scissors
(Jolene) that'll trouble you no longer sonny
(Jolene) snipsnip!
(ReichSteadyCrew) thats a lovely image maRto
(maRto) which? of my foreskin in your head or the red head?
(ReichSteadyCrew) foreskin
(maRto) aah

<The fool on the hill> are you threatening me?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Yes, you stupid, stupid, thick, utterly retarded stupid shitstain of a total wankface. I hope you die, face down in a pool of your own mixed bodily leakage after having been liberally, frequently and unlubricatedly anally abused with the business end of several golf clubs.

*** Bob_food is now known as Bob_Ill

<qui> COPcl - how familiar are you with telnet? or is that a really stupid question :)
<COPcl> that is a really stupid question..

<@Jenkskii> crouching netsplit hidden bombbomb

<D33> I went in a hotel in cyprus once
<D33> really really hot
<D33> and it was a small cubical
<D33> my cheeks got so sweaty i slipped off the seat
<phantom> did someone laff outside as you poo’d?
<D33> mid dangle
<Pod> rofl
<D33> was messy

<+Intron> i really hate the pub some times i come out smelling of fags
<+Intron> its horible
<+Cam|> shouldnt let gay men cum on you then

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<D33> oh
<D33> fucking hilarious thing
<Mmw> :D
<D33> sec
<D33> laughing just thinking about it
<D33> aah
<D33> Right
<D33> it’s pouring down around here
<D33> anyway
<D33> we’re all slowling walking back in the harsh rain
<D33> and all of sudden
<D33> running the other way
<D33> is a guy dressed like batman from the old tv shows
<Mmw> LOL
<D33> and about 40 people all stopped walking
<D33> and went
<D33> "nanananananana"
<D33> wish I had a camcorder
<Mmw> rofl

join | T0rNaDo | (~tornado@kingpin.gaming.blueyonder.co.uk)
mode | (+v T0rNaDo) | by | oof
<T0rNaDo> ?Thanks oof?
<babyharpseal> T0rNaDo- turn that script off!!! ;)
<D33> one day
<D33> I’m going to change my name to
<D33> for_the_gay_sex
<D33> and op you, T0rNaDo
<babyharpseal> lol D33
<T0rNaDo> wot script ?
<babyharpseal> <T0rNaDo> ?Thanks oof?
<T0rNaDo> aint got a clue m8 it part of invision 2.0
<Darksaber> do it D33
<Darksaber> do it now :p
nickchange [<D33> ?-? (for_the_handjob)] |||
<for_the_handjob> babyharpseal
<for_the_handjob> op me
<for_the_handjob> !
<for_the_handjob> :(
<Darksaber> op for_the_handjob
mode | (+o for_the_handjob) | by | yee
mode | (+o T0rNaDo) | by | for_the_handjob
<T0rNaDo> ?Thanks for_the_handjob?
<for_the_handjob> \o/
<Darksaber> classic
<@T0rNaDo> lolol
<babyharpseal> lol!!
<babyharpseal> pld
<for_the_handjob> :)
<StarMonkey> lol
<Cable_Nut> lol

<DanielPash> whats the command for system stats
<Sierro> /server stats
*** Quits: DanielPash
<Sierro> \o/

<Pod> :D
<Pod> greek banning games, taht stupid
<WildWayz> not as bad as Greece banning computer games
<WildWayz> :D
<Pod> BEAT YOU TO IT
<Pod> even if my sentance was full of typos
<D33> They what?
<D33> How come ?
<Pod> cos they r ghey
<WildWayz> gambling or something
<WildWayz> http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/26939.html
<D33> How exactly can you ban a computer game?
<BlindSite> ask parliment
<Pod> D33 they banned them all
<Pod> not just one
<StarMonkey> even stuff like playing snake on a mobile phone is banned
<BlindSite> Greece parliament is going to be in for a rough ride.
<Onions> usa will probably declare war on them

<Pi|Mu|Rho> works for me - forums
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you just lack the skjillz D33
<Pi|Mu|Rho> oh ffs
<D33> how ironic.
<qui> laff
<Pi|Mu|Rho> FU D33
<Pi|Mu|Rho> FU with a hammer

<Cruiser|> ooh lol
<Cruiser|> " Hacking is like anal sex, you get in the back door and hope theres not a log."
<babyharpseal> !
<Pi|Mu|Rho> eew
<Cruiser|> trojan condoms
<babyharpseal> "providing you protection when your in the back-end"

<Mmw> who you complaing to about Greeds?
<Backdraft> yes
<Backdraft> :)
<Mmw> who to
<Backdraft> my ISP
<Mmw> rofl
<Backdraft> ?
<Mmw> they cant do anything at all
<Backdraft> cant they ?
<Backdraft> u sure ?
<Mmw> yep
<Backdraft> muahhahhahah
<Mmw> did it happen on #bymoh?
<Backdraft> yeah
<Backdraft> and Blueyonder is my ISP
<Backdraft> im sure they know all about this channel
<Backdraft> and im sure they will find out what goes off in it
<Backdraft> :)
<D33> First I was afraid..
<Pikkon> lol
<Mmw> :D
<D33> I was petrified..
<tango2> lmao.
<D33> People reporting me to their isp and telling me to hide..
<D33> but then I realised the truth, the fact they couldn’t do jack shit..
<D33> and I became corrupt..
<Mmw> LMAO
<tango2> L
<tango2> M
<D33> Now I kick and ban them in my stride..
<tango2> F
<tango2> A
<tango2> O
<D33> THEY WON’T SURVIVE.. Woaaahh
<D33> dadadada
<tango2> THEY WONT SURVIVE
<Pikkon> lol
<Backdraft> fuck YOU
part | Backdraft | (Backdraft@pc-62-30-251-35-ro.blueyonder.co.uk)

** [eF]Evi| looks at http://www.run.to/rso
<@WordBearer> =]
<[eF]Evi|> u make that in IRC?
<@WordBearer> make what?
<[eF]Evi|> the website
<@WordBearer> i never made it and besides how do you make a website in irc

<D33> you can report me to Velvet if you wish
<Veracocha13> yeah but it won’t get me anywhere
<Veracocha13> you will deny it and he will say okay
<Veracocha13> i will get banned
<Veracocha13> not you
<D33> I won’t deny it
<D33> I’ve just admitted it to you
<D33> and you won’t get banned for reporting me
<D33> it’s not that corrupt :>

<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> and?
<Ryan> lightening
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over

<@][nferno> \o/
<@][nferno> "HI r u lookin 4 a new recuit 4 ur team 4jedi i live in uk i can practice every weekday after 6.00. i am a hardcore jedi knight player i can add style and a reliable team member 2 your team.Email me at Mat1234577889@aol.com"
<@][nferno> \o/
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> on forums?
<@][nferno> mail :)
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> gah
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> should be on forums for everyone to read
<@][nferno> aye
<@][nferno> ill tell him 2 come 2 irc
<@][nferno> when im not so drunk
<@][nferno> i tomottowe
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> "r" "u" "4" "lookin"
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> He talks lke you ;(
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> half assed
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> :)
<@][nferno> he s da win
<@][nferno> :D
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> ARGH
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> HE’S ...
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> HE’S ON THE UNSAYABLE WORD
<@][nferno> i r da fucto0re
<@][nferno> i r need more drink
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> WE CAN’T HAVE SOMEONE WHOS ON THE UNSAYABLE WORD
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> ITS.... NOT RIGHT
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> :/
<@][nferno> omg dontr conuse me
<@][nferno> :/
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> Well I ain’t gonna say it
<@][nferno> shall weplay jk2 .
<@][nferno> ?
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> it’s unsayable
<@][nferno> :/
<@][nferno> lets pla]
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> fs, I’ll never forgive you for making me say this
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> He’s on
<@][nferno> :|
<@D33||ZzZzZZzz> AOL
<@][nferno> omg
<@][nferno> aol
<@][nferno> sux
** D33||ZzZzZZzz washes himself
[03:01] *** Disconnected

Note: About 6 seconds after saying AOL my modem disconnected. I rebooted my machine to find the registry
had corrupted and I had to use chkdsk /r to repair my hdd.. Now that’s what I call a cursed word.. ;(

<@Super`Phil> Rah, I just went for a dump, and the skid mark I left in the bowl looked exactly like the batman sign

<Admirable> man it’s hot <Admirable> my ballz are stuck to my leg

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i’m asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

Not a quote but one of the funniest things put on the net
Letter sent - allegegedly- to NTL

>> 57 xxxx Street
>> xxxxxx
>> xxxxxxxx
>> xxxx xxx
>> 27-09-01
>>
>> Dear Cretins,
>> I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
>> your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.
>> During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service
>> which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and
>> stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific
>> details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative,
>> and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so
>> that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away
>> the working day smoking B and H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in
>> your office.
>> My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice,
>> resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse
>> waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I
>> spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and
>> the even more annoying
>> Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website?. how? I
>> alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles
>> for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar
>> and highly adept.
>> The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
>> although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
>> such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.
>> Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several
>> further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my
>> modem arrived ? a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun
>> to pay for it.
>> I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%?
>> these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to
>> Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.
>> I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone
>> calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been
>> unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who
>> are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.
>> I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
>> will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone
>> will call me back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows
>> whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off),
>> that I will be
>> transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is
>> available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me
>> that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who
>> knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been
>> redirected to
>> the irritating Scottish robot woman. and several other variations on
>> this theme.
>> Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
>> thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
>> those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to.
>> Frankly I don’t care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my
>> frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.
>> Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
>> I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of
>> god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
>> disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
>> their customers. That’s why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn’t
>> anyone else is there?
>> How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable
>> dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you
>> truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum -
>> incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they
>> are
>> - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled
>> mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.
>> Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest
>> to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise,
>> and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
>> the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
>> deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
>> disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by
>> derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
>> I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats
>> litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both
>> you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
>> become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
>> time of
>> posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not
>> experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the
>> very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it’s worthless
>> employees.
>> Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you
>> irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,
>> Yours psychotically,
>> Xxxx Xxxxxxx
>

<@Ufnb> we should quaran..
<@Ufnb> quarentr...
<@Ufnb> isolate mal

<babyharpseal> hey do they teach calculus in primary school yet? <babyharpseal> cos if they don’t, my little cousin will be hailed as a genious tomorrow (I’ve just done his homework)

<+Indo`> my wife had the day off work today, now I have a fluffy reindeer as my wallpaper, and a santa screensaver

<@GH|][nfern0> I aint on ladder
<@GH|][nfern0> I played fs
<@KajA[jk2]> u don’t count
<@KajA[jk2]> male or female players only it says
<@KajA[jk2]> clearly stated at the bottom of the page....

<Melleh|aweh> my bog paper shud be called rambo cos its tough and takes no shit from no body

*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> lol
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

<Pod-> imfg help!
<Pod-> im stuck in #onions

(@SMeK): Powergen have taken over an italian power business, their Web site... http://www.powergenitalia.com/