<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where’s the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

<D33> StarMonkey
<StarMonkey> D33
<D33> To the right of your pc case
<D33> are bear bottles
<D33> send them to me
<D33> ;(
<StarMonkey> D33
<StarMonkey> how the fuck did you know that
<D33> :|
<D33> i know everything
<D33> everyone knows that
<T0rNaDo> ha><or
** StarMonkey gets freaked out
** StarMonkey puts willy away
<T0rNaDo> *Laughs*

A couple of minutes later..

<D33> lol, made me laugh quite badly then
<D33> StarMonkey
<StarMonkey> D33
<D33> the picture you posted on the guitar board
<D33> is the answer to your question
<D33> :>
<StarMonkey> aah
<StarMonkey> ooh, you can see my bubblejet!
<D33> 0_o

<Liam_> you realise by coming here on a regular occasion you will be scared mentally for life :/
<D33> Liam_ - I’m already scared for life.... fkin hoover wouldn’t let go and I tried turning it off.. OH GOD DID I TRY! ... by the time I pulled the plug out of the socket the damage was done... the suction was too great.... but enough of that... i’ve passed that point in my life.. i’ve moved on
<D33> :(
<Liam_> lolol
<Stumpeh> rofl
<Lubey> lol

<@][nf`ZZ> i fink ill try and sleep with pc off
<@][nf`ZZ> will be weird
<@][nf`ZZ> but ill try
<@D33||DnD> ][nf`ZZ
<@D33||DnD> The moment you hit that power button...
<@D33||DnD> ... you’ll be disconnected...
<@][nf`ZZ> :/
<@D33||DnD> There will be no getting out of bed for a second to check the forums
<@][nf`ZZ> :\
<@D33||DnD> there will be no irc bings
<@][nf`ZZ> :/
<@D33||DnD> THERE WILL BE NO FAN NOISE
<@][nf`ZZ> I know
<@D33||DnD> If you feel secure with that
<@D33||DnD> then you do it
<@][nf`ZZ> but im gonna have 2 sleep with pc off
<@][nf`ZZ> when i move in with Nikki :/
<@D33||DnD> I wish you luck
<@D33||DnD> and may your urges last until morning
<@][nf`ZZ> now i tuen pc off ;o
<@][nf`ZZ> nn
signoff | ][nf`ZZ | (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<@[UDF2]Diablo> NOOOO!!!!
<@[UDF2]Diablo> he turned it off
<@[UDF2]Diablo> shame
<@D33||DnD> Well he’s fucked
<@D33||DnD> Now, what’s on itv
<@[UDF2]Diablo> lol how so?
<@[UDF2]Diablo> i sleep with pc off all the time :o/
<@D33||DnD> He’ll wake up at 4am
<@D33||DnD> used to the comforting noise of the fan
<@D33||DnD> and the bings of irc when his name is mentioned
<@D33||DnD> and he’ll hear.... nothing
<@D33||DnD> he’ll roll back and forth
<@D33||DnD> clutching himself into a ball
<@[UDF2]Diablo> LOL!
<@D33||DnD> he’ll want to turn the PC back on but will be unable to
<@D33||DnD> as once where the led lights at the front of his PC lit the way
<@D33||DnD> there will be darkness
<@D33||DnD> He’ll be alone
<@[UDF2]Diablo> you really like to turn these things into a big story don’t you? :P
<@D33||DnD> Poor bastard :/

3 minutes later...

join | ][nfern0 | (lol@pc2-blfs1-4-cust139.bel.cable.ntl.com)
<@[UDF2]Diablo> lmfao inf!
<@[UDF2]Diablo> couldn’t sleep?
<@][nfern0> im so weak :(
<@][nfern0> just wont work
<@][nfern0> nn
nickchange(#4Jedi) [(][nfern0) ?-? (][nf`ZZ)] |||
<@][nf`ZZ> was earie
<@[UDF2]Diablo> lol
<@][nf`ZZ> all quiet :/
<@][nf`ZZ> and dark :(
<@][nf`ZZ> so alone :(
<@[UDF2]Diablo> you poof
<@][nf`ZZ> nn *gone*

<MadJock001> any1 got irc open?

<+Gokou|Away> although i would like to remind everyone im a newbie pilot
<+GroovYF|afk> pilot or pillock ?

<@velvet> im spanking myself atm

<Kikupoochie> excuse me d3?
<D3> your excused
<D3> but don’t do it again
<Intron> lol
<WildWayz> lol

<@harps|nap> I got my ass pinched twice in that one
<@velvet> ooh
<@velvet> sorry, my hand slipped

<Red7-> NTL put a cable though my bush but won’t give it to me :(

<@TrivorSinclair> Question: On which Japanese city was the second atomic bomb dropped during World War II?
<+REDDiE> vietnam

<Sassy> apparently, if a horse came in a girl it would drown her instantly...

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There’s a dude next to me and he’s watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I’M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I’M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

<KeepInTheCircus> i wish our times were a bit closer together... seems we’re 5 hours off. by the time i get on to play, none of you are in the servers... and i love hearing your funny talk :-D
<D33> our funny talk
<D33> that made me laugh ;(
<KeepInTheCircus> haha yeah :-D ahh i’m sorry... its just different, its great. our girls are crazy over your talking
<D33> The English on voice comms in CS
<D33> "I say old bean" , "what what?" , "chap to the right with one of those mp5 watsits" , "I say, your right collin, let’s go kill the blighter" , "tally ho!"
<Pod-> lol D33

<Ferg> (+babyharpseal): huh
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has joined #the.slags
<Ferg> *** noo sets mode: +v Kahuna|
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has left #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has joined #the.slags
<Ferg> *** noo sets mode: +v Kahuna|
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has left #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> nothings happening
<Ferg> :)
<harps\away> since when has there been a delchan cmd?
<Godin> always been part since I could remember
<Ferg> oops
<harps\away> I always just used the /part command
<Ferg> [15:18] <Q> delchan Deletes a channel from the lists - level 950.
<Ferg> tum te tum te tum
(3:29pm) ** Ferg gets his coat
<harps\away> er
<Godin> I dunno, nearly as bad as the users
<Godin> Q != bybots
<Godin> ;)
<harps\away> but ferg you are msging a bybot
<@noo> PART #iicloneii by Ferg / Ferg
<@noo> PART #the.slags by Ferg / Ferg
<harps\away> lol
(3:30pm) ** harps\away hi 5’s Godin
<Ferg> i was thinking of the Q/L delchan commands
<Ferg> :/

(+BIG-DAVA) fekin aunties cat, always meaows really loud
(+i_WiLL) giz a go!!!

+Cable_Nut: anyonme got a old gf about they dont use :(

<+gas||afk|t-aweh> why is kentucky fried chicken like bonking a woman?
<+gas||afk|t-aweh> at the end, when u have had the breast n leg, all yer left with is a messy box and a sticky bone.

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

<@SAngel> Welcome Back SCM :)
<@SCM> lo m8
<@SCM> ta irc decided to have an error lol
* Quits: SCM (madmicks@pc-80-195-229-162-ma.blueyonder.co.uk) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<@Luggage> i might be able to sub tonight
<@Luggage> it depends whether im awake :/ party last night, gig night before, and me dad woke me up at 10 today :x
<@Luggage> and also its fucking 35 degrees :P
<@deff> if my dad woke me up at 10, +b
<@deff> :p
<@Luggage> idd
<@Luggage> cant +b my dad v easily tho
<@Luggage> cos hes +amontv in #myhouse

: Melly is back after 1m: brb gotta piss
[Communal_Toilet]: works done time to go home :D cyas
: Melly flushes Communal_Toilet
[Communal_Toilet]: :)
::: Quit: (Communal_Toilet) (~mark.kell@212.103.243.8.firstnet.net.uk) (Signed off)

<Mace> i take it your a peon that couldnt get into q2, so stuck to q1?
<doser> im a peon who tried q2 and actually realised how fucking shit it was
<doser> its slow/rockets fire at like 1mph/physics suck
* _MAXX_ calms doser and gives him the pillage upgrade
<doser> :P
<doser> its an embarassment to say q2 or q3 are better than qw
<doser> in any form
<doser> dinner bbs
<_MAXX_> you can steal resources now, when you attack enemy buildings
<Mace> wtf
<_MAXX_> now go build a burrow
<Mace> oh i see roflmao
<Mace> nice one max
<Mace> classic
<_MAXX_> ...hes a peon..

(+tango2`) velvet you aboot?
(+qui) he went out about hour ish ago for the night
(+tango2`) buggerinton
(+tango2`) ta :>
(+MZhukov) you want to bugger intron?
(+MZhukov) you sick boy !
(+Miller|) lol
(+tango2`) :O

* MaRMY has joined #BT
* Op3rat0r sets mode: +v MaRMY
<+MaRMY> Thanks For The Voice Op3rat0r!
* MaRMY was kicked by Op3rat0r (Thank you scripts are crap)
* MaRMY has joined #BT
<+MaRMY> Thanks for the kick Op3rat0r!

(Intron) i supose i need to suck qui and then get on his nice side so he wont add any more

<@SnoOoPz`> need 1 for a tdm pm me amsg
(qui) 1v1 tdm?
(qui) surely thats just a duel

<marek> what have i done?
<Ryan> falsifying avis
<marek> you have no proof it was me
<marek> what was wrong with the avi anyway ryan?
<Ryan> well unless cs has gone in a totally new direction and the new melee weapon is the horse cock then i think you renamed a animal porn file

<@Luggage> "so graham...i hear u like ugly women..."
(oxy) lol
<@Luggage> "we just want u to know that we love you and care about u whatever u do"
<@Luggage> :S
<@Luggage> and then ure mum says to ure dad
<@Luggage> "it would be better if he was gay tbh" :/
<@Luggage> "i mean, how would he introduce us to her? "mum, dad, this is my ugly russian mail order bride natyskia"
<@Luggage> "she wants to work in britain"
<@Luggage> "as an unsuccessful hooker"
<@Luggage> "she needs nationality to work as a shit tart?"
** deff thinks u’ve had this conversation already
<@Luggage> yeah
<@Luggage> im playing it off the dictophone :P
<@deff> u did after all give us the link

<kozak^away> hi any girls
<Sierro> hi kozak^away
<Sierro> a/s/l?
<onions> lo kozak^away :)
<MaNiC^> lol


// he pm’ed me :o


<kozak^away> hi
<onions> hi :)
<kozak^away> wup
<onions> same old
<onions> u?
<kozak^away> horny :(
<onions> :D
<onions> asl
<kozak^away> 18 m sweden u
<onions> 15 f New Scotland Yard
<kozak^away> kool
<onions> you like yonger girls? :)
<kozak^away> oh yea
<onions> HAH YOU FUCKING SICKO
<onions> GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT

<+][nfern0> got a random msg saying "u lk vn mr b’ful and sexy thn erlr, if poss!"
<+][nfern0> sms like
<+][nfern0> i sent one back saying, I didnt understand that + I’ve no idea who u r
<+][nfern0> "Sorry Martin, Ur next to helen in my phone. Its bob, save my number. PS ur not sexy"
<+][nfern0> Its was my fecking uncle
<+][nfern0> dirty shit
<+onions> lolol

<bob|cba> its codd birthday today
<bob|cba> and he didnt tell us
<bob|cba> till an hour ago :/
<Klynt> hmmmm
<Klynt> slacker
<Klynt> maybe we should bondage tape him to a lampost
<Klynt> then video the reaction
<Klynt> and take pictures to remind him
<bob|cba> hmm
(qui) think you’re a bit fucked in the head tbh
<Klynt> you think that is fucked in the head?
<Klynt> Pray you never meet me
(qui) :)
<Klynt> for that is nothing
<Klynt> still I think it’s a good plan bob
<Klynt> and your birthday on the 30th....... oooooo
<bob|cba> i’m off home for my birthday Klynt
<Klynt> and?
<Klynt> you think I can’t find you
<bob|cba> i would hope so
<Klynt> Even if I have to hitch hike I’ll be there on a dark night
<bob|cba> ic
<Klynt> maklijng sure you ’enjoy’ yourself

(D33): The skin from a llama’s willy can make an interesting winter coat. However just one coat kills nearly 25% of the llama population.
(|MaTT|): pffft
(|MaTT|): solve the problem
(|MaTT|): use the skin from a whales willy
(|MaTT|): only one needed
(D33): The last guy I told that to didn’t believe me
(D33): he said it was all bollocks.

<phantom>: could have got some more recently but then my standards went up slightly :D
<Pi|Mu|Rho> so they approached zero then?
<phantom> yes ;(

<Thargore> If a bear shits in the woods ands nobody is around to smell it... does it still make a sound?

in #ogh
(D33) How can I get Marik to add me to his irc ignore list without him knowing about it ;)
<eVc> whats the name
(D33) eVc - why :)
<Melly> Marik
<eVc> ;)
<eVc> what chan he in
<Melly> #trickery *cough*
<eVc> sorted

in #trickery
signoff | Marik | (Read error: Connection reset by peer) | 6:02pm |||
join | Marik` | (Marik@Danharris.users.quakenet.org) | 6:02pm |||

in #ogh
<Melly> rofl
<Melly> how u do that?
<eVc> ;)
<@phanny> o.O
<Melly> hes back ;(
<eVc> watch him goo

in #trickery
signoff | Marik` | (Read error: Connection reset by peer) | 6:03pm |||
join | Marik` | (Marik@Danharris.users.quakenet.org) | 6:04pm |||

signoff | Marik` | (Read error: Connection reset by peer) | 6:04pm |||
join | Marik | (Dan_STEAM_@cpc3-nthc2-6-0-cust1.nrth.cable.ntl.com) | 6:06pm |||

in #ogh
(D33) lol
(D33) ok ok
(D33) enough :(
(D33) too cruel
<Melly> lol
<eVc> ok
<eVc> :<

<@D33> damn i’m looking like a sexy bitch :D
<@phantom> sexy change?
<@D33> black shoes, black socks, black tshirt, black open shirt, black jacket and blue jeans
<@D33> and pale white skin
<@D33> \o/
** phantom hands D33 the Cadbury’s milk tray and a rope
<@D33> :/
<@phantom> GODS SPEED!

<Pi|Mu|Rho> ever tried smoking breasts?
<Sierro> BREASTS! ( . Y . )
<Pi|Mu|Rho> will they light? will they buggery
<ManiC^> put vodka on them Pi|Mu|Rho
<ManiC^> :p
<qui|21> worth a try though Pi
<qui|21> ;)
<ManiC^> they’ll light then
<Pi|Mu|Rho> heh
<|Matt|> breats do smoke after ive had a tit wank ;)

<Korizin> http://cs.mykvn.org - NEW CS League
<Korizin> i didnt post that cs link, must be a virus DONT CLICK
<qui> well get off irc ffs
<Korizin> ask nicely, i was bout too fs
<Korizin> dont take being spoken to like that nicely
<sm|gone> :o
<Korizin> tah
signoff | Korizin | (Quit: [15:37] *** Monkey_Genius Quit (Quit: Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.))
<qui> fucking idiot
<qui> excuse me sir
<qui> you appear to be stupid enough to have a virus
<qui> would you mind awfully not being stupid enough to pass it on to anyone else?
<qui> many thanks indeed!
<FluffyKitten> what-ho... terribley sorry old chap ! I shall depart at once !
<qui> ’fuck off’ works so much better

<+Marik> ok my sis is coming ON
<+Marik> last time i said that got out of hand
<@Luggage> rofl
<@Luggage> quote
<+Ian`> lol
<+Marik> ??????
<+Ian`> Marik - u keep owning yourself
<+Kryton> lol
<@Batz> idd :D
<+Marik> what did i do, how is that a quote?
<@Luggage> rofl
<+Ian`> :E
<@Batz> rofl
<@Luggage> ffs
<@Luggage> i just submitted
<@Luggage> and then he said that
<@Luggage> not fair

(+Kryton) what if ur dad catches u on t3h pr0n?
(@deff) choking the chicken
(@deff) bashing the bishop
(+Marik`) shaggin a southerener?
(@]CpU[Hellfire) wtf?
(@deff) wtf

<Zakat> nope
<Zakat> I am a young bith
<Pinapoke> Yes
<Zakat> bitch*
<Pinapoke> a what?
<Zakat> not a old witch
<Pinapoke> No.
<Zakat> a young bitch
<Zakat> yes
<Zakat> yes
<Zakat> yes
*** Mode change "+b *!*WinNT@c213-200-146-149.cm-upc.chello.se" for channel #halflife2 by synth
*** Zakat has been kicked off channel #halflife2 by synth (Repeating (3r in 8s), 10m tempban! <227>)
<Pinapoke> Owned

<@Coddy> fucking grammer school boy

<BlindSite> unless your a labotamised ginger midget with a blonde gene, mozilla is very easy to use

*** Joins: dipwork [~diplo@vpn.wiltswholesale.co.uk]
<dipwork> opme
<dipwork> plz
*** BopBot sets #=ba=cod mode: +v dipwork
*** dipwork was kicked by BopBot [Yeah...right !]
*** Joins: dipwork [~diplo@vpn.wiltswholesale.co.uk]
*** BopBot sets #=ba=cod mode: +v dipwork
<+dipwork> DO IT
<+dipwork> BopBot sucks teh healm
<@BopBot> what do you think I am ? a magic 8 ball or something ? now, fook off !
<+dipwork> Yes

<]FB[Morba> women think they got it hard having to give birth n all
<]FB[Morba> but they never tried to piss into a toilet with a hardon

<iG`Birdie> ne1 interested in being recruited for Ji-Had purposes? join #allah-akbah
<Ripley8> is that some sorta suicide thing?
<iG`Biglines> ye, mass irc suicide
<iG`Biglines> ./quit for allah
<iG`Biglines> :P
<Ripley8> rofl
<iG`Birdie> lol

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<Pinapoke> owned
<Pinapoke> oh fuck im on the wrong side!

<Sprafa> Valve officially gave it to him when it realized they sux0r
<Sprafa> And then, when Hl2.net grew up to the biggest community, Munro took over Valve and made Gabe Newel his personal slave!!!
<Munro> I prefer the term 'bitch'