<@DonoftheDead> They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards you hear satanic messages. That’s nothing, because if you play it forwards it installs Windows.

<zaney> i sued to be smart but then my father, he fond out i wsa gay so eh ebaten me very baddly on the haad

<onions> yeey christian animation thingy on bbc2 <onions> brain washing has never been so fun

<D33> ..00:05.. <oxy> STOP STEALING QUOTES FROM BASH!
<D33> 3
<D33> maybe 4
<D33> infact no
<D33> 2
<D33> maybe 3

<Pod-> o3eyhu
<Pod-> oo shivers ;/

<D33> fuck
<phantom> pld
<Pod-> :)
<D33> now my channel order is all messed up
<Pod-> how was it listed before?
<D33> perfectly.
<Pod-> heh
<phantom> hehe
<Pod-> harharhar
<phantom> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahahahashkagdjashdgfk sjfhajdbglijslbg svnkdfvlfdng
<Pod-> us 3 really should go to bed.... :/
<phantom> !!!!!!
<Pod-> not the same bed obviously!
<Mmw> oO
<Pod-> fs the first mention of gangbangs and Mmw shows up ;/

<KeepInTheCircus> i wish our times were a bit closer together... seems we’re 5 hours off. by the time i get on to play, none of you are in the servers... and i love hearing your funny talk :-D
<D33> our funny talk
<D33> that made me laugh ;(
<KeepInTheCircus> haha yeah :-D ahh i’m sorry... its just different, its great. our girls are crazy over your talking
<D33> The English on voice comms in CS
<D33> "I say old bean" , "what what?" , "chap to the right with one of those mp5 watsits" , "I say, your right collin, let’s go kill the blighter" , "tally ho!"
<Pod-> lol D33

(+Disorder): I xthinvk xi xhanve xa xnvirus xor xsmethinvg
(+Disorder): its xfubckinvg xup my xkeybcoard

<Pod-> imfg help!
<Pod-> im stuck in #onions

<phantom> i wonder why i do that... type words which are nuffin like the word i wanted every now and badger

(@OmeGa`) isnt double dutch: when you use a condom and the girl takes the pill? :P
(@Luggage) double dutch is when ure having 2 fifty person orgies side by side

<Sysagent^> When MBM played at the Brixton Academy, the volume was so loud that the low bass sounds resulted in a high concentration of deregulated intestines, the people got diarrea in masses and there were enormous queues at the toilets. Really happened

<Ferg> (+babyharpseal): huh
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has joined #the.slags
<Ferg> *** noo sets mode: +v Kahuna|
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has left #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has joined #the.slags
<Ferg> *** noo sets mode: +v Kahuna|
<Ferg> *** Kahuna| (fractal@81.6.219.65) has left #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #the.slags
<Ferg> -> *noo* delchan #iicloneii
<Ferg> nothings happening
<Ferg> :)
<harps\away> since when has there been a delchan cmd?
<Godin> always been part since I could remember
<Ferg> oops
<harps\away> I always just used the /part command
<Ferg> [15:18] <Q> delchan Deletes a channel from the lists - level 950.
<Ferg> tum te tum te tum
(3:29pm) ** Ferg gets his coat
<harps\away> er
<Godin> I dunno, nearly as bad as the users
<Godin> Q != bybots
<Godin> ;)
<harps\away> but ferg you are msging a bybot
<@noo> PART #iicloneii by Ferg / Ferg
<@noo> PART #the.slags by Ferg / Ferg
<harps\away> lol
(3:30pm) ** harps\away hi 5’s Godin
<Ferg> i was thinking of the Q/L delchan commands
<Ferg> :/

<SylverFyre> i kno what u mean - when one of me neices and her mates are all in a room at me sister in laws i come over all giddy :D
<SCM[BEER]> its more like school uniforms they never looked as good when i was at school lol

<babyharpseal> sound.
<babyharpseal> I’ll do the tea.
<DJCarlos> we have proof this time too
<D33> :/
(qui) I think the website just died
(qui) =\

(+BIG-DAVA) fekin aunties cat, always meaows really loud
(+i_WiLL) giz a go!!!

(@SMeK): Powergen have taken over an italian power business, their Web site... http://www.powergenitalia.com/

<Steelo> what kinda fill has an extention with pnfi or something
<Steelo> i thought extentions were only 3 letters
<Steelo> but this one has 4...
<Steelo> wtf

<pureperversions> intron was a member
<D33> you can say that again

(@OmeGa`) bah, I dont want to play nwn :/
(@OmeGa`) I want to be social :(
(@Luggage) listen to ureself
(@Luggage) u call ureself a gamer?

[D33]: omg
[D33]: i went onto the simpsons website
[D33]: and went to the forums
[D33]: it asked me for my age to access them
[D33]: so i picked from a drop down box
[D33]: and there was an option for dob: 2000
[Melly]: lol!
[D33]: so thinking it was amusing to tell them i was 3
[D33]: i did
[D33]: and it locked me out of the forums
[D33]: with a cookie
[D33]: ;(
[Melly]: ahahaha

(Miserygutty): Did u hear about the blind circumsiser? He got the sack

CheeseWeaver): Blood moss is RED, right, why does it make a BLUE potion? || (@Gwyn|Bugaboo): Personally I’m a sort of beige colour, but if you grind me up I’d make a red potion

<Flomotion> I just 0wned my sister at tossing!

* SmokeSilver tweaks his nipples || (Brocken): SmokeSilver do your nipples run %50 faster now you’ve tweaked em?

<Bert_raccoon> kalleth once asked me to help him when his leg was broke
<Bert_raccoon> so I said ok I’ll help and shot him in the head and said we needed the supplies for HQ
<EvilGrin> Bert_raccoon: np it was the correct course of action

(Mr_Day): I know what FOAD means. Do you?
(GimpChimp): Is it an illterate source of nourishment?

(ChesterDrawers): ask him why we can’t ban non English speakers too :P || (ChesterDrawers): "a fe fe fe fe Chris Waddle GRENADE!"

Killer_Kiwi - All you people reading this forum are sad and have no lives. Unlike me, who cures diseases in my spare time and liberates small third world countries from opression

onions[bed]:// ok people, time to start laughing, i just shit myself :D
onions[bed]:// thought it was a fart, but, it wasnt :D
onions[bed]:// i was sitting on my towel actually, been going around with that wrapped round meh cos i spewed on my dressing gown last night :D

<@ObLiViOn25> the real woman is dead ;f
<@ObLiViOn25> raped to death xD
<@ObLiViOn25> true story apparently :/
<@ObLiViOn25> any ghost trys to bum me... fuck that shit :<

<@deff> oh no, no u can’t disguise
<@deff> you can’t disguise, no u can’t disguise
<@Batz> say its milk :E
<@Batz> usually works

+Cable_Nut: anyonme got a old gf about they dont use :(

[Melly]: :o SUMONE MSGD ME!
[Mmw]: send one back saying u dirty slag : LICK MY MOTHER FUCKING ASS TBH
[Mmw]: :o
: Mmw cries
[Melly]: lol
[Mmw]: \o/

<yheGR> yekonMratS
<yheGR> see what i did that?
<yheGR> it says " StarMonkey r ghey" backwards!

<+gas||afk|t-aweh> why is kentucky fried chicken like bonking a woman?
<+gas||afk|t-aweh> at the end, when u have had the breast n leg, all yer left with is a messy box and a sticky bone.

<WhiteGold> should have stayed in bed lol cant get bored there

: Melly dances
[Melly]: IM A BARBIE GIRL, IN A GHEY WORLD
[Melly]: ITS FANTASIC, MY TITS ARE PLASTIC
[Mmw]: lol
[Melly]: ;(
[Melly]: tiss tr00
[Melly]: got implants
[Melly]: big fucking plastic juggs
: Melly jiggles em

[Melly]: Shit sex is like waiting in for a plumber, you sit there for ages and he doesn’t come, and then on top of that he over charges for a shit experience. rude tbh! :o

[22:41] <Pod``> who are "monument" : and why are they offering my a credit card when im 17?
[22:42] <Bilbo_Fraggins> cos you pretended you were 21 when you gave your email address for free porn?

<GroovYF> [17:08] *** You are banned from connecting to this server ("trojans")
<GroovYF> Closing Link: FYvoorG by blueyonder3.uk.quakenet.org (G-lined)
<GroovYF> any ideas ?
<babyharpseal> I’ll let someone else answer that ;)
** babyharpseal scans down user list
<GroovYF> was i unfortunate ?
<GroovYF> or do i have summat dodgy ?
<babyharpseal> yes :)
<GroovYF> really ?
<babyharpseal> it was an unfortunate command switch
<Ferg> i glined
<Ferg> when i meant to spew
<babyharpseal> someone glined when the should have spewed!
<Ferg> and hit 4500 users
<GroovYF> lol
<GroovYF> pld
<GroovYF> had me worried :/
<Ferg> sorry, 4000 users :)
<][nfern0> lolz who was it ? :)
<Ferg> <-- me
<Ferg> :)
<][nfern0> \o/
<][nfern0> rah
<Pi|Mu|Rho> pld Ferg
<GroovYF> and ’spew’ does what ?
<][nfern0> Nazi irc op :D
<babyharpseal> lists users based on a search parameter
<Ferg> [17:05] <O> REGEXGLINE .*!~[a-z]{6}\@.*\([a-z]{6}\), expires in 14d, set by ferg: trojans (produced 1393 glines/hit 4047 users)
<Ferg> :)
<GroovYF> lol
<babyharpseal> wonder why it got drilla|wrk and not other work machines
<Ferg> it makes it worse, because i knew i’d done it as soon as i pressed enter
<WhiteGold> lol
<Ferg> and theres no way to stop it
<Ferg> you just have to watch every gline be placed one by one :)
<babyharpseal> the agony of watching those glines stream up your screen eh ferg ;)

<msdl28712|H> wheres the coc for online gaming
<+D33> that would be intron
<+D33> oh, i see, one sec

<D33> (6:52pm) ** D33 is away: auto-away: 15min idle. ..(l:on/p:on)..sna
<D33> (6:53pm) -S- You are violating QuakeNet rules. Please read http://www.quakenet.org/rules/ and cease your abuse.
<D33> great
<D33> so if I set back
<D33> I’m killed.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> it’s a win-win situation \o/

<<< quit: h2o (Quit: I have a shit pc that parents wont uprade or replace. i need your help! Could some 1 please! steal my pc so i can claim on the insurance, i will pay you to steal it! I live at 61 Old farm road, Bere Regis, Dorset,uk. Key is under a pot next to the door. thxs)

<Kahuna|> i dodnt have time to type soz cos i was gettin shot
<Kahuna|> so this cunt started callin my a cunt etc
<Kahuna|> etc etc etc
<Kahuna|> so I fucked him up
<Kahuna|> no longer being an admin has its advantages

*** Joins: Elemor (r1ck@pc3-hart1-3-cust110.midd.cable.ntl.com)
<Elemor> how lame is it to ban people from server who are better than u
<Pi|Mu|Rho> er, what?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> or is that a rhetorical question?
<Elemor> rhetorical question?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I mean, do you actually have a point? Bear in mind that I don’t actually know what you’re talking about.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I presume you mean the NEKKID server?
<Elemor> [8:09am] * Now talking in #4kings
<Elemor> [8:09am] * Topic is ’Go to #nekkid and let them know how lame it is to ban people from servers because they are better than they are :) | http://www.four-kings.com // 4K vs nEophyte 29-19 GG // NO advertising or pasting crap, thank you.’
* Pi|Mu|Rho shrugs
<Pi|Mu|Rho> here’s 20p - phone someone who gives a shit
<Elemor> ill need more than that for a real convo
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I’m really having a hard time caring.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I mean, you come in here solely based on the topic in another channel. Do you actually have anything valid to say at all?
<Elemor> yeah
<Pi|Mu|Rho> let me know when.
<Elemor> quite a few valid things
<Elemor> 1. Melons are cool
<Elemor> 2. http://www.4-got-10.tk
<Elemor> tell me what u think of that for my first attempt
<Pi|Mu|Rho> first attempt at what?
<Elemor> making a website
<Elemor> 3. www.clandlt.tk
<Elemor> and tell me what u think of second attempt
*** Joins: iM-pulse (pulse@imminent-team.com)
*** Parts: iM-pulse (pulse@imminent-team.com)
<Pi|Mu|Rho> so....you come in here to call us lame, then you want me to comment favourably on your websites?
<Elemor> ermmm]
<Elemor> yeah summit like that
<Pi|Mu|Rho> As soon as I can come up with words of sufficient magnitude to describe your sites, I’ll be sure to let you know.
<Elemor> the second 1 is good tho innit
<Pi|Mu|Rho> If it makes you feel happy and secure, then yes.
<Elemor> ur such a retarf
<Elemor> retard
<Pi|Mu|Rho> and there we have a perfect definition of "irony".
<Elemor> look m8
<Elemor> just go n waddle of into the sunset with ur boyfriend
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Please, learn to type. People might understand you better.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Also, childish insults like that just make you look really, really, stupid.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> and utterly negate anything useful you may have had to say (which is unlikely anyway)
<Elemor> u suck penis
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Oh please. Is that the best you can do?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> You’re really coming off worst here.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> How old are you, 12?
<PC> simply put - bog off tosser.
<Elemor> im 15
<Pi|Mu|Rho> It shows.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> My son is 15, and he’s an ignorant wretch too.
<Elemor> cool
<Elemor> i bet he has a bigger penis than u
<Pi|Mu|Rho> However, he can actually type and articulate words, unlike you.
<Elemor> wtf
<Elemor> whatsa than mean
<Pi|Mu|Rho> My point exactly.
<Elemor> huh
<Pi|Mu|Rho> You’ve come pitifully underarmed to a battle of wits, haven’t you?
<Elemor> ur gay
<Pi|Mu|Rho> My wife would disagree.
<Elemor> ur husband
<Elemor> were r u from?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I’m impressed.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I’ve never actually seen anyone with such a lack of grasp of comprehension.
<Elemor> were r u from?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Does it matter?
<Elemor> yes
<Pi|Mu|Rho> How unfortunate for you, then.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> hmm....Middlesborough.
<Elemor> wow
<Elemor> im from hartlepool
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I’m not from MIddlesborough. I just named a random place
<Elemor> ok
<Elemor> so were r u from
<Elemor> well i dont no coz u got a bnc
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Pity, that.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> By the way, for insulting my wife, you can leave.
*** Pi|Mu|Rho sets mode: +b *!*r1ck@pc3-hart1-3-cust110.midd.cable.ntl.com
*** Elemor was kicked by Pi|Mu|Rho (ta-ta)
* Pi|Mu|Rho wins
<Pi|Mu|Rho> \o/
*** Joins: rG`v3rt-afk (~RG-bnc4@204-65-19-212-hildon-t15-z1.wireless.as15758.net)
<rG`v3rt-afk> erm, i am a kiddie lamer, la la la la la la la alalalald sakbjasdkba s we baliks hdvbaslikdb asd asikdb aslikdbad
<Pi|Mu|Rho> So I see.
*** Pi|Mu|Rho sets mode: +b *!*@*.wireless.as15758.net
*** rG`v3rt-afk was kicked by Pi|Mu|Rho (woof!)


<Elemor> hi m8
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Quel surprise.....I didn’t see that coming a mile off.
<Elemor> wow
<Elemor> didnt u
<Elemor> u stupid fuck up
<Pi|Mu|Rho> hehe
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I’m really trying my hardest to be impressed, but you’re making it very difficult.
<Elemor> cool
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Anything more to add before terminal boredom sets in?

<nekkid> you stole our quotes!

<Armag> fs
<Armag> Pulled a muscle in my hand playing a freakin’ game :|
<Minty|> lies
<Minty|> you were enjoying some self love werent you ;)
<Armag> If I was I doubt I would have pulled a muscle in my thumb... :\
<D33> He pulled one muscle while playing with another muscle.
<Minty|> lol
<Armag> This is just the sort of behaviour I expect from you people.
** Armag huffs and folds arms.
** phantom mounts Armag
<Armag> Not now, I am injured.
<D33> Sorry
<D33> Didn’t mean to muscle in on your conversation.
<phantom> want me to pull you away?
<D33> lol
** Armag frumbles.
<Armag> I was going to say somthing along those lines... damn you, damn you to hell.
<D33> thumbs up, Armag. Tomorrows another day.
<D33> My typing isn’t bad tonight, usually I’m all thumbs.
<Armag> Hrmph.
<D33> <Armag> I was going to say somthing along those lines... damn you, damn you to hell.
<D33> Pull the other one.
** D33 falls off his chair
<D33> my sides
<Minty|> easy D33 :P
<Armag> D33 != Pure Wit

(+WildWayz) u know it’ll make u feel good on this sunny monday morning whilst u are in a dark celler eating stale muffins and drinking friday’s coffee that’s been stewing
(+WildWayz) if you look to your left, you can see the unwashed v*lvet basking in the fan’s breeze - anticipating the moment st*kky walks into the room naked and full of life with a jam jar stuck up his booty
(+WildWayz) what’s that scurrying along in the corner? It’s a ravanous am*k looking for spiders to snort. All he can find though, is the left over crumbs of last weeks quiche which would do just nicely.
(+WildWayz) babyharpseal looks up at the ceiling trying to identify the stains - could it be their mad sessions with online games or was it a leak from the room above? Unsure what the stains are, he proceeds to dip his finger in it and taste it - just as he thought...

(qui) I was capt of my school team
(qui) when I was fit
<WhiteGold> you were never fit!
(qui) why does that seem such a long time ago :(
<WhiteGold> always ill with sommat
<WhiteGold> schoolphobia mostly
<Tarantella> lol
(qui) pfft
(qui) you can hardly preach about that
<WhiteGold> lol only missed out the 3rd year
<WhiteGold> i went 4th and 5th mostly
(qui) yer right
<WhiteGold> i did cause i had picked the subjects, only one i hated i was left with was math
<WhiteGold> i loathed that subject
(qui) numbers never were your forte
<Tarantella> 40?
(qui) unless it’s 69
(qui) ;<
<WhiteGold> rofl
<WhiteGold> cheeky!
(qui) well that halted any further conversation
(qui) i rox
<WhiteGold> i can add 6 + 9 together very well tyvm
(qui) I bet you can deb
(qui) did you get full marks for practicing that in your maths class?
<WhiteGold> no my maths teacher never gave me much above 50% in anything :E