<[6K^emfje]> oZ got banned from a by cs server for using a name which suggests cheats. The admins name was Hacks..

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i’m asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

<@void|Quay> both Qui and Quay are l33torz
<@void|Iain> Y WONT ANYBODY LOVE ME
(void|qui) me > you
(void|qui) tho
<@void|Quay> me < you
<@void|Iain> :.......(
(void|qui) lol Quay
(void|qui) ta
<@void|Quay> :(

<@Robmonster> how do i join the mpd league?
(qui) press alt + f4
signoff | Robmonster | (Quit) | 7:15pm |||
join | Robmonster | (Robmonster@adsl-172-104.iomart.com) | 7:15pm |||
mode/#mpd | (+v Robmonster) | by | bah
<Robmonster> hmm, something went wrong with my irc then
<Robmonster> let me try that again
signoff | Robmonster | (Quit) | 7:15pm |||
join | Robmonster | (Robmonster@adsl-172-104.iomart.com) | 7:16pm |||
mode/#mpd | (+v Robmonster) | by | bah
<Robmonster> nope
(qui) oh dear

<WhiteGold> what position am i in tontie

<WhiteGold> thats a thought perhaps vaseline would wor

<WhiteGold> pfft im a lady

<WhiteGold> tongue just aint me

<Intron> qui isnt nasty
<Intron> he is pure evil hidden behind the guise of a inocent ikkle boy

<|4D|M0KUJ1N> so I told him me needed skillz

<bandy_meths> qui, u know they say u r what u eat? u must have the head of kernel Saunders, and the body of Ronald Macdonald :)

(qui) I woke up still pissed as a fart :(
<tGN> thats not like u qui
<tGN> ur usualy very responislbe

<WhiteGold> i get confused easily

(+M0KUJ1N) Im sorry but its pricks like qui, and me, who have taken the fun out of UT :/

@]RE[RBreast> ive known qui for 20 mins and i dont like him already

<+rampage> btw aimbot is 1 ****ing good player!
<+rampage> never misses

<amok> i woke up in a soho doorway
<amok> a policeman knew my name

<losey> why did the girl fall of the swing
<losey> cos she had no arms

<@SAngel> Batz how can you eat If I sit on your face?

[lerxster]: Is there anyone awake in here?
[phantom]: no
[+onions]: yep
[phantom]: lies
[phantom]: your a bot
[phantom]: so am i
[phantom]: he’s just not learned to accept his fate yet

[+ChasLGC]: pod was all over your rear at the start of second lap
[+Nor-]: yeah, i kinda lost it a wee bit
[+Pod`]: heh
[+Pod`]: you wouldnt move
[+Pod`]: i couldnt get round you ;(
[+Melly]: so u rammed him from behind?
[+Pod`]: so i jusrt kept going bumpbumpbumpbumpbump
[+Pod`]: Melly i wasnt ramming :(

: +monkee`aroused robs phanny

[Melleh]: /kill Intron|Away
::: Quit: (Intron|Away) (Intron@dod.bygames.com) (Ping timeout)
[Melleh]: !

<Hexample> I just used the word "uberleet" whilst talking to my girlfriend
<Hexample> her response:
<Hexample> "no speak 1337"

[Bad-Co]: WAR, what is it good for.???
[+Mmw]: oil
[onionz]: heh
[atom|Melleh]: lol
[+Mmw]: and getting rid of the crazy son of a bitch n
[Nor-]: ABSOLUTELY NUTTIN
[+Mmw]: and killing as many of the crazy basts as possible

[Brocken_]: I’m a lass :(
[Brocken_]: I have boobs and everything ;(
[Brocken_]: with tastles
: BlindSite jiggles Brockens man melons around

[+atom|Melleh]: GIANT BEES
[+asyl]: killum
: +onions fluffles his giant bee :(
: +BlindSite nicks onions lemming whilst he plays with the bees
[+atom|Melleh]: lol
[+onions]: NOOOO!!! HARPSEEEEEHHHHH!!! D:
: +atom|Melleh sniggers and taffs the lemmings wheel
[+onions]: i will avenge you my friend, i will avenge you :’(

(+KajA-SiniS) OMG I JUST BURNT MYSELF! :( i was reading what u just said and i went to light a fag but i forgot to put 1 in my mouth and burnt my fucking lips

[MD87]: phantom has an answer for everything :{ *glares*
[nameinuse]: shame half the time it’s not the right one..

[Melleh]: dont give brocken ur fone number
[Melleh]: he rings u up in night and goes HEY ITS ME MATHEW KELLY!
[nameinuse]: i get that anyway, don’t think it’s brocken tho...

[+asyl]: ne1 know how to reverse channels on me sound card (me left speaker on the right)?????
[+asyl]: or thru windows or whatever
[+phantom]: turn your headphones around? :o
[@GH|ezzzt]: lol

<@onions> i just had computer issues
<@onions> keyboard wouldnt work
<@onions> so i opened the case and fiddled around
<@onions> then i noticed i plugged it into the mouse port :(

[Miserygut]: I’ve had 5 wanks his evening, my knob feels like it’s been dipped in talcum powder then hit by a rolling pin
[+Greeds]: lol
[Miserygut]: :\

[Bad-Co]: Behind every Bush , there is a TWAT, in this case its Tony Blair

(velvet): i don’t care if they stick an ice cream cone on the top and have it play a jingle, it is still a tank

<mef> Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.

<BeavR> lo m8, soz to bother ya’s :] got a prob, someone wants to change their auth pass wiv the bot, they spammed it accidently in the channel =[ (werent meh btw :)
<qui|xD> hehe
<BeavR> u the man to ask or i got meh wires crossed? :]
<qui|xD> /msg bot newpass <newpass> <newpass>
<BeavR> says he tried that, me thinks he’s typed ’bot’ though :D 1 sec
<qui|xD> you have to have authed first tho :)
<BeavR> aye :]
<BeavR> just to proove it werent me :D
<BeavR> <BeavR> did u type ’bot’
<BeavR> <BeavR> or the name of the bot u authed with?
<BeavR> <Appie> OMG how stupid
<BeavR> <Appie> :[
<BeavR> <BeavR> =D

(1:27am) -NeGnOg- -(ops/voice@#wireplay)- id just like to say youre all piss fucking cunts who need to get a life you fucking tosser fuck heads paki shagging nato loving dick rubbing dob arse licking shit eating piles of wank

<robert-> qui is a cunt tho
<@robert-> tara is just a patronising git
<Sask> ahh so he’s useful then ;)
<@Mabs> :D
<@robert-> blame kev
<@robert-> for sending me this script
WhiteGold> tara puts me in the corner and tells meh off
<Oxy> ban tara
ban(#mpd) | (tara!*@*) by bah [F12 unbans]
<Oxy> :)
<Sask> It is a fact that Cunts are important for the survival of the human species ......... however usless egotistical, anal retentitve, biggoted, patronising, pompous teachers are fucking the world up

<@robert-> the happy circle of mpd
<Sask> bollocks
<robert-> mabs qui and tara
<@robert-> 3 some
<Sask> that is sick
<@robert-> =)
<Sask> tara don’t need Mabs or Qui he’s more than capable of fucking himself

<COPcl> atm the Ass is prob the most used

(+[LAW]) i will tell u when its up

<WhiteGold> god i hate it if my mother shared a comp with me
<WhiteGold> all my porn would have to go

Not a quote but one of the funniest things put on the net
Letter sent - allegegedly- to NTL

>> 57 xxxx Street
>> xxxxxx
>> xxxxxxxx
>> xxxx xxx
>> 27-09-01
>>
>> Dear Cretins,
>> I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
>> your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.
>> During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service
>> which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and
>> stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific
>> details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative,
>> and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so
>> that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away
>> the working day smoking B and H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in
>> your office.
>> My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice,
>> resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse
>> waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I
>> spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and
>> the even more annoying
>> Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website?. how? I
>> alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles
>> for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar
>> and highly adept.
>> The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
>> although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
>> such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.
>> Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several
>> further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my
>> modem arrived ? a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun
>> to pay for it.
>> I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%?
>> these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to
>> Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.
>> I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone
>> calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been
>> unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who
>> are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.
>> I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
>> will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone
>> will call me back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows
>> whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off),
>> that I will be
>> transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is
>> available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me
>> that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who
>> knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been
>> redirected to
>> the irritating Scottish robot woman. and several other variations on
>> this theme.
>> Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
>> thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of
>> those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to.
>> Frankly I don’t care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my
>> frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music.
>> Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
>> I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of
>> god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
>> disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to
>> their customers. That’s why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn’t
>> anyone else is there?
>> How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable
>> dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you
>> truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum -
>> incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they
>> are
>> - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled
>> mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.
>> Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest
>> to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise,
>> and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
>> the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
>> deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
>> disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by
>> derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
>> I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats
>> litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both
>> you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not
>> become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
>> time of
>> posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not
>> experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the
>> very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it’s worthless
>> employees.
>> Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you
>> irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats,
>> Yours psychotically,
>> Xxxx Xxxxxxx
>

<[PETe]> hey qui
<[PETe]> why change your dns
<[PETe]> wassup ?
<[PETe]> u paranoid >
(Qui) Nah tired of getting dos’ed by some llama with a crap name.
<[PETe]> ermm ye4h m8
<[PETe]> dont know wot the feck u on about
(Qui) course you don’t
<[PETe]> 213.221.173.2
<[PETe]> that yhours
<[PETe]> :)
<andy-> lol pete your so lame
<andy-> Resolved 213.221.173.2 to proxyscan.quakenet.org
<andy-> go DoS it then...
(Qui) haha

<[-will-]> qui is an arrogant egotistical retard ... but he’s fucking brilliant when it comes to UT :f

<@Brain_Murders> pissed me bro off no end
<@Brain_Murders> I used to fly around the hills, pop up and rape his arse then vanish again
<@Brain_Murders> still - family eh?
(oxy) lol

(qui) horses eat hay
<Bandee> see horsey eat
nickchange(#bygames) [(MZ[NotHere]) ?-? (MZhukov)] |||
<Rudolf_Witzig> but they dont eat HEY
<Cruiser|> eat sea horsey
(qui) HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY DONT EAT HEY?
(qui) HAVE YOU ASKED ONE RECENTLY?
part | Rudolf_Witzig | (Wabbit@modem-687.snake.dialup.pol.co.uk) | 5:48pm |||

(+Munk|work|): last time my woman saw it she became emotional

<@Stainmaster> velvet is obviously working for BY
<@Wuffles> he can’t be, he got in touch right away, rather than 4 days later