[Deviant`] i just owned my ARM exam
[Deviant`] i was all like "haha noob" and the exan was all like "zomg bullshit wallhacker"
[Deviant`] so i gave it a round house kick to the face and punched it in the ovaries
[Deviant`] long story short, i got kicked out the exam for trying to do binary semaphor

<@Bh420> omg
<@Bh420> i think i pissed him off
<Jmax> he kicked out his ethernet plug D:
<@Bh420> maybe he was wacking off over an ibm ad in a magazine and shot jizz on his modem and shorted it out
<@morning_wood> proally
<@Bh420> Jmax - redkommie is the first person to train a biometrics thumb scanner on an IBM laptop to recognize the head of a penis
<Jmax> LOL
<@morning_wood> lol
<Jmax> serious?
<@morning_wood> LOL
<Jmax> i know a guy who tried to do that
<@Bh420> well we arent 100% sure but we think so
<Jmax> but judging from the parts of IRC i'm from...
<@Bh420> yeh
<@Bh420> it took him a long time to
<@Bh420> it kept saying password to short
<@Bh420> :P
<Jmax> lol

<Draco|Thaum> well i couldnt like
<Draco|Thaum> i was like
<Draco|Thaum> i thought it was my teacher from school cause of her name and accent
<Draco|Thaum> and i was like. okkkk. so who are you
<Draco|Thaum> so she said well we are doing "information gathering" and then i knew it was too late
<Draco|Thaum> and i was sucked in. NOOOOOoOOoOOoOoOoOo
<Peng-> That is the part where you put down the phone, boon
<Peng-> She isn't going to mail you a bomb

<ZoFreX> admittedly I am packaging a hard disk for RMA
<ZoFreX> on my to do list I kinda scrawled it so it says "hard dick"
<ZoFreX> :(
<clairey> thats on my to do list too!

<meeeeee> i joined some teaching thingy, but then it went all urgh and i got kicked off here
<meeeeee> but it didnt say anyone kicked me so it was just urgh
<@bulletmagnet> im not surprised
<meeeeee> and now ive forgotten how to get on the teaching thingy!
<Lt_Patch> Leave: ~hannah@82-43-170-3.cable.ubr05.newm.blueyonder.co.uk left (Left all channels)
<meeeeee> i didnt!
<Lt_Patch> according to that, you closed the connection
<meeeeee> how do i do that?
<Lt_Patch> by closing the box that says "QuakeNet"
<meeeeee> how?
<Lt_Patch> little X at the top right hand corner of the window that says "QuakeNet"
<meeeeee> the red x thingy?
<Lt_Patch> dunno, try it
<meeeeee> ok
*** meeeeee quit (Quit: Leaving)

<Stingey> i gotta stop flushing my mouth with cola really
<Pi|Mu|Rho> try hemlock instead
* Stingey goes googling
<Stingey> First hit
<Stingey> Welcome to End-of-Life Choices.
<Stingey> Hemlock, or poison hemlock, is a large, coarse, unpleasant-smelling plant, all parts of which are poisonous and may be fatal if eaten. It is the poison hemlock that was used to put Socrates to death.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> Try it. You might like it.

<clairey> you can never get enough homemade pr0n
<clairey> you can quote me on that

<Draco|Thaum> YEY
<Draco|Thaum> SPYWARE FREE
<Draco|Thaum> I RULE
<Draco|Thaum> holy shiat 60 on msn
* Youngblood_ has joined #dunemaul
<rev|Kaleth> too much beer? :)
<Draco|Thaum> im hungry i want to get a ghetto gateau
<Youngblood_> I have no idea what you are discussing, but there is no such thing as "too much beer" :-)
<Draco|Thaum> yes there is
<Draco|Thaum> shut up
<Youngblood_> no, there isn't
<rev|Kaleth> well it depends :)
* LOWRENCE has joined #dunemaul
<Draco|Thaum> the point of too much beer is directly proportional to the severity of inebriation and the velocity of vomit divided by the time it takes to get to the toilet
<rev|Kaleth> haha
<Draco|Thaum> so stfu
<Draco|Thaum> its been proved

<clairey> martha come tomorrow and we'll have a girly talk
<slysiren> you and I are classified as girls?
<clairey> YEAH
<clairey> cos we have CUNTS
<clairey> haha :D

* Lt_Patch does the "Hannah got i-rox0red" dance
<meeeeee> hiya patchy
<Lt_Patch> you lot do know I'm going to systematically work thorough this entire fucking channel, and nail you all :P
<meeeeee> yay, so youre not going to make me look stupid any more?
<Lt_Patch> Hannah, join #password.is.rtfm for me
<meeeeee> do i type /join #password.is.rtfm?
<Lt_Patch> it's passworded, so you'll need to type /join #password.is.rtfm
<Lt_Patch> and put in the password afterwards
<meeeeee> umm?
<Lt_Patch> something like this:
<Lt_Patch> /join #password.is.rtfm password
<meeeeee> do i put the dots too?
<Lt_Patch> yeah
<meeeeee> ok
<meeeeee> it says it needs a keyword
<Lt_Patch> :)

<Thargore> SOILENT GREEN
<Thargore> IS PEOPLE!
<ZoFreX> *soylent
<Thargore> i soiled your mom
<ZoFreX> nice comeback
<Thargore> i came nicely on your mom's back
<Thargore> that's it, ive got a whole arsenal of those
<ZoFreX> as long as you leave my mum's arsenal alone
<Thargore> nobody does your mom arsenally
<Thargore> to be frank, she has quite a big bottom
<ZoFreX> you're scraping the bottom of the barrel of your mom jokes now
<Thargore> when i tried to do your mom arsenally, i only managed to scrape her barrel bottom

<HyperChris> rolf harris needs to bring out his own brand of signature mayonnaise
<HyperChris> and call it ROFLMAO

<Trump_Card> Pfft. Foam sword? I have a 4ft. WOODEN sword in my closet.
<cla> i have a pork sword
<cla> oh no wait
<cla> i'm a girl

<Hunt0r> lol imagine when hannahs parents read her history
<Idoless> lmfao
<meeeeee> i dont do history!
<Idoless> We mean internet history
<Idoless> I guess you mean school
<meeeeee> oh
<meeeeee> we didnt do internet history
<meeeeee> but it sounds kinda silly

TheRealLyokar: so i had dandruff.
TheRealLyokar: my desk looked like freaking russia
TheRealLyokar: smells like shit and covered in snow

<@slinter> imagine you get driven over by some tank in your car while waiting on a light
<@Thargore> erm, that would suck
<@slinter> yea, i mean they dont see too well in those tanks
<@slinter> its like when someone wants to fuck you in the ass and you cant escape ><
<@Thargore> ah, like that
<@Thargore> but instead of a penis, its an artillery tank
<@slinter> yea, anal(!)ogy

<mape> Does anyone know why HL is running really choppy when in windowed mode but if I go fullscreen with same settings I get 70+ fps?
<ZoFreX> I know it's not a solution but why run windows?
<ZoFreX> *ed
<Davo`> <ZoFreX> I know it's not a solution but why run windows? < better

NaMeLeSs2430: gwen stfonyi is hot.
NaMeLeSs2430: so hot i cant even spell her last name right

<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled

<ShakespeareFan00> Is there a list of known troublemakers somewhere?
<ShakespeareFan00> So that the relative newbies like myself can avoid them...
<zocky> ShakespeareFan00, if you're using a standard IRC client, there's a list on your right.

<@elate> ah the perfect definition of a British drought
<@elate> it's absolutely pissing it down

<slinter> my beart is itchy
<Deviant`> beart?
<slinter> beard ?
<slinter> :>
<slinter> does beart has some naughty meaning that im not aware of?
<Davo`> slinter doesnt have a REAL beard. he celotapes the hair he gathers from the bathtub. funny thing is, this hair comes from the bush that can only be described as "mom"
<@DJCarlos> roflmayo
<SirZmur> ..lol
<slinter> ha ha, too bad i dont like at my mommies house unlike you peeps
<slinter> live*
<Davo`> do you live alone?
<slinter> ...
<slinter> shatap
<Davo`> do you?
<SirZmur> ... lol its from his roommates "bush"
<Davo`> more than likely, his roomie is a guy
<Davo`> we dont care, slinter. enjoy your beard while it lasts
<Davo`> but make sure you shave it off before you go down on a woman to remove the chance of causing the "velcro effect"
<Davo`> saying that, if you kiss a girl you'd brush her teeth at the same time

<JRJohn> At my high school we had a high school cop who would walk around proudly displaying his 9mm glock.
<JRJohn> also, he had about 10 boxes of ammo in his desk.
<ZoFreX> that's a little unsafe
<ZoFreX> ammo should be locked up
<JRJohn> WHY would you need more ammunition than there are kids in the school?
<ZoFreX> doubletap?

TheRealLyokar: there are baboons in some towns in south america
TheRealLyokar: they're looters and they break into people's cars and houses n stuff
TheRealLyokar: it's like a dry new orleans

[@comradeSeif] i hate these movie piracy ads that are pushed onto dvds these days
[+Davo`] if you downloaded the movies, you wouldnt need to watch them

NaMeLeSs2430: dude this one kid in science class ripped open this one girls shirt and saw her boobs
TheRealLyokar: ...
TheRealLyokar: what kind of fucking school do you go to
NaMeLeSs2430: 90% minority school

[Q-Rious_] well il be off irc from tomorrow
[Deviant^] ooh how come?
[Q-Rious_] turning 25, isen't that the max age for irc?
[Deviant^] dont be silly
[Q-Rious_] ^^
[Deviant^] theres lots of pedophiles on irc!

cubbyjoker: this guy says that he goes to a catholic school, is in a gang, and is raped by the football team captain... and then another guy says he has sex with his sister, and another wants to have "mutual masturbation" with his sister
TheRealLyokar: for the first guy, i say bs
TheRealLyokar: for that second guy i say go for it

[+Viper] whats the difference between a picture of a 16 year old and shagging a 16 year old
[Deviant`] ejaculation Viper ?
[Deviant`] did i just lower the tone of the room again ?
[+Viper] yes, yes you did
[Deviant`] haha :D

<Thaum> ahhhh wikipedia. is there anything you cant do.
<nocens> be correct

<+Davo`> duke nukem: forever was released in 2003 but the game had to be recalled because every single being on this planet decided george broussard is too ugly to be a co-founder of 3d realms

<DharKon> If you have stolen my genitals I will kick you in them.

<lifeless> grrrr found transformer and no idea wtf its for :@
<Frymaster> ok, i have a checklist to go through for that
<Frymaster> step 1: is it an autobot or a decepticon?
* You were kicked by lifeless (hahaha..ha..ha...not funny)

*** roska^^ has joined #england
(roska^^): you are shit
(roska^^): me speak wery good england
(roska^^): me go now
*** roska^^ has left #england

<Admin> Jake says, "no, my dvd-r drive is raping me"
<Admin> Jake says, "and it's all"
<Admin> Jake says, "you like it bitch"
<Admin> Jake says, "unf unf unf"
<Admin> Jake says, "you have to restart for me to work again"
<Admin> Jake says, "unf unf unf"
<Admin> Jake says, "and i'm all"
<Admin> Jake says, "oh god my asshole"
<Admin> Aelita says, "wow, images."
<Admin> Warton says, "Lolz."
<Admin> Jake says, "FUCKING START WORKING"
<Admin> Jake says, "and it won't"
<Admin> Jake says, "so i have toreoobt"

[@joe] Meet Ethiopian Singles
[@joe] www.Ethiopianpersonals.com
[@joe] sounds tempting
[@pocoyo] rofl
[@pocoyo] i bet theres a tick box
[@pocoyo] AIDS or NOT

<Thargore> rock rules
<Thargore> whenever i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock cause rock beats all
<deios> rrriiight
<Thargore> and when some sissy goes like "my paper beat your rock", i punch them in the face with my rockhand and yell "WHERE'S YOUR PAPER NOW BITCH?!"

TheRealLyokar: i wish there was a google for inside my house.
TheRealLyokar: like
TheRealLyokar: i'm like, "where's my phone"
TheRealLyokar: and i type something in the wall
TheRealLyokar: and it's like "oh yeah your phone is buried in your dad's pr0n collection"
TheRealLyokar: and i'm like
TheRealLyokar: "fuckin' sweet!"

<T3CH> Just watched that Harry Potter film, but its pretty unrealistic, I mean...a ginger kid with two friends.
<Jolene> hmm
<Jolene> where's onions nowadays?
<T3CH> did the word ginger remind you of him?
<Jolene> well, erm
<T3CH> it did didn't it
<Jolene> i just thought, you know
<Jolene> :<

<OOC> Vernon says, "well i learned something"
<OOC> Vernon says, "if your clone is not born from your mother's womb, it's not incest"
<OOC> Vernon wipes sweat from brow
<OOC> Aelita says, "Fascinating."
<OOC> Aelita says, "So"
<OOC> Aelita says, "If I had a hot sister"
<OOC> Aelita says, "Which I don't"
<OOC> Aelita says, "But if I did"
<OOC> Aelita says, "And I paid to have her cloned"
<OOC> Aelita says, "I could bang the clone?"
<OOC> Vernon says, "yep"
<OOC> Aelita says, "Wow. Deep."
<OOC> Vernon says, "i fucking know."
<OOC> Aelita says, "How would I know it was the clone?"
<OOC> Vernon says, "clones tend to age faster"
<OOC> Aelita says, "Huh."
<OOC> Vernon says, "and degenerate faster as well"
<OOC> Vernon says, "strangely"
<OOC> Aelita says, "So eventually I'd be screwing a 40 year old"
<OOC> Aelita says, "Not so hot."
<OOC> Vernon says, "yeah."
<OOC> Vernon says, "so get it while it's hot"
<OOC> Vernon says, "then kill it"
<OOC> Aelita says, "Oh well, clone again."
<OOC> Vernon says, "it is an abomination against god"
<OOC> Aelita says, "hmm"
<OOC> Vernon says, "hit it and quit it"
<OOC> Aelita says, "I wonder"

<DharKon> http://www.i-rox.com/quote/1682
<DharKon> (@Kryton) 'everytime you masterbate, god kills a kitten'
<DharKon> An interesting point raised.
<DharKon> An even more intriguing matter is, what happens every time you kill a kitten?

15:47:16 < [Lawnhorn]> man, that sucked
15:47:22 < [Lawnhorn]> got a knock on my door
15:47:29 < [Lawnhorn]> and two of my flatmates were there
15:47:47 < [Lawnhorn]> holding, on a plate, the pie I put in the oven at 12:40pm
15:48:41 < [Lawnhorn]> it could now be described as "ethnic"

<Nsain> mol, i rate if we fused together... ok wed be one sick puppy. but we might nearly make quite a decent guy lol

* cAz wishes she didnt work with 25 other woman
<Moloch> pms ahoy !

<Nsain> Doncha hate it when you have to walk a few km's to work, only to find your boxers decide to creep up 2 ur nipples half way.... and you cant adjust in the middle of the street so keep walking with ur nuts flopping around like a dying fish while you walk like a mexican with a hamster in his ass???

(slinter) 2 people were offside yet he didnt whistle
(Dalamari) Holy shit slinter, it was a goal ffs
(slinter) that FUCK
(slinter) NO YOU FUCK
(Dalamari) Uh oh
(slinter) offside you tard
(Dalamari) last time a German got this angry 6 million people went missing
(@DJCarlos) lol
(+Davo`) brilliant

<Thaum> rofl
<Thaum> i saw some kid today who was trying to get on the internet at college
<Thaum> hes obviously never used a computer
<Thaum> cause i watched him
<Thaum> and i shit you not
<Thaum> he typed in
<Thaum> www.internet.com
<Thaum> then complained when it didnt work

<Linuss> me is off, gotta clean the truck
<+Davo`> no amount of scrubbing will stop the forensic team from finding semen on your dashboard. leave the children in peace!

<dizzyone> remember when you told me to buy some flowers for my mom
<dizzyone> i really did that
<dizzyone> and my mom is still shocked
<Davo`> good!
<dizzyone> :) yes, it was the best sex ever
<Davo`> christ

<petus-> good thing im named jesus then
<Tokenx> Petus
<Tokenx> Shut up
<Willy> :(
<byakuyay> lol Jesus
<byakuyay> haha.....
<byakuyay> you got hanged
<Willy> Oo
<Tokenx> Rofl
<Tokenx> That's wrong on so many levels