<CYB3RSH4RK> no im saying ircops are sad
<repiV> thats a wonderful generalisation
<CYB3RSH4RK> thank you
* CYB3RSH4RK has quit IRC (Killed (*.quakenet.org (You are violating QuakeNet rules. Please read http://www.quakenet.org/rules/. ID: 4483117)))

[+FlyingSkull] Hello
[+FlyingSkull] Is there an administrator here?
[+FlyingSkull] I would like to request that my son is allowed to use cheats on your server
[+FlyingSkull] He is very ill as he has had cerebral palsy since he was born and doesn't get on well with other children in his school
[+FlyingSkull] Counter-Strike Source changed his life, but he can only play it using cheats, even though he only gets a kill/death ratio of 1-10, this is still good for him.
[+FlyingSkull] Unfortunatly, he was banned from your server and I would like to request that he is unbanned and an exception is made for his case as Counter Strike means alot to him
[+Macer] rofl is it just me, or do i smell bullshit? :/
[+FlyingSkull] Will you help?
[@Roofles] NO you fucking timmeh? timmeh.
[+Macer] LOL
[+FlyingSkull] Who do you think you are? Cerebral palsy is not a laughing matter !
[@Roofles] timmeh !
[+FlyingSkull] I will be considering legal action. You have absolutly no respect !
[+FlyingSkull] You will be hearing from my lawyer
::: quit: (FlyingSkull) (Signed off)
[@Roofles] what a twat

<Ben> we have normal, hateful families
<Ben> not your " i love you" family

<Marik> how do you grill it?
<Marik> and i'll have one
<Sierro> put it under the grill
<Marik> microwave?

[Deviant`] Thargore is a damn dirty word
[Thargore] so is cunt
[Thargore] yet people adore them
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] people also stick penises in them
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] do people stick penises in you, Thargore
[Thargore] They try!

(PP|LynX^): does any1 have a blimp and 100 china men i cud burrow for an elaborate practical joke

[+Catdaemon`[X]] What's this VAC thing in my steam settings
[+Catdaemon`[X]] "in good standing"
[+Catdaemon`[X]] wtf, does everyones say that or something?
[+coldplasma] no
[+Catdaemon`[X]] what does yours say?
[+coldplasma] VAC Status: Due to recent data, it been determined that you suck. Please uninstall all valve products to free up hard drive space for your growing porn collection.
[@The5thviruz] rofl, pwned by valve

RallyMonkey | My mom decided to call me when she is one room away, to say goodnight
Kealiki | ha.
fruitbat | 0_o
RallyMonkey | Scared the shit out of me
RallyMonkey | Seriously, I need to go clean my pants
RallyMonkey | BRB
coldnight | ...
Kealiki | ....
Kealiki | ew.
coldnight | I think everyone is cutting and pasting right about now?

(bram_): If you want a cool story about WW2
(bram_): My grandfather got saved by a big thick piece of chocolate in his backpack
(bram_): It stopped a bomb shard that was going to hit his spine
(bram_): I'm not making this up
(bram_): Interesting "what if" proposition
(bram_): I wouldn't be here right now if he'd gotten killed
(bram_): So i actually owe a lot to chocolate

<poppy> so bubbles what u up 2?
<bubbles> soz
<bubbles> im slow
<bubbles> only got left hand
<bubbles> to type with
<bubbles> brb
<poppy> ...

<Davo^> Did I ever tell you guys the story when I was on the train down to Liverpool?
<@CrazyHarij] no, please tell us
<Davo^> k
<Davo^> Well...
* @CrazyHarij is away
<Davo^> FU

<lawless> Heh. I finally got my hands on a soldering iron and I picked up a modem from 1985 at a thrift shop. Can't wait to get my shop finished.
<lawless> Heh. Thats hardcore.
<ShaggyShaggs> a modem from 1985, eh? does it fit in a single room?
<lawless> Heh. Let me find my tape measure.
<lawless> Well hell.
<lawless> 1'3" by 8 1/2 inches.
<ShaggyShaggs> I think my harddrives are smaller than that
<lawless> Oh yeah. It's huge. Got it for $7
<lawless> I might go back there tomorrow to see if I can find any more gold. heh
<ShaggyShaggs> bulky gold from when dinosaurs roamed fidonet
<lawless> Vintage.
<lawless> T/Rs at 300, 1200, and 2400bps...
<lawless> Autodial, autoanswer..all kinds of things to play with.
<ShaggyShaggs> heh... I can only imagine how hot that room is going to be if you fill it up with ancient stuff like that
<lawless> Heheh..I'm a vintage junkie, what can I say?
<ShaggyShaggs> technically it won't even be a room
<ShaggyShaggs> you'll be hanging out inside the computer
<lawless> So much the better.
<ShaggyShaggs> forget about fans
<ShaggyShaggs> just get each component its own air conditioner
<ShaggyShaggs> won't need a microwave or oven either
<ShaggyShaggs> you'll be able to spit roast your food over the power strips
<ShaggyShaggs> you'll boot up and the lights in the rest of the neighborhood will dim, heh
<lawless> Heh. That would be cool.
<lawless> I'd get a call from the power company. "Look...Stop it."
<ShaggyShaggs> lol
<ShaggyShaggs> that or they'd send you gifts on your bday and xmas

(Nutsy): Anyone know a site that does good side and front profiles of nude people... I need to get some good reference metieral for a model.
(@velvet): roflmao
(Nutsy): I just need some good front back and side pictures of nude models standing still
(@velvet): me too
(Nutsy): yeah but i need it for work
(@velvet): altho happy if they're just women and in other positions too

<Davo^> Go Go gadget defrag hard drive
<maybeHere> be careful
<maybeHere> if it doesn't hear the "de" you're pretty much fucked

<Thargore> and MS Word suggested that I use the word "Fruitier" to describe the wavelength of my own voice instead of "Noisier"
<Thargore> fucking MS Word is calling me gay

(@Faces\college) i would love to be a girl
(@Faces\college) for like, a week or something
(@Faces\college) to see what girls fucking look for in a guy
(@Faces\college) ?_?
(@Faces\college) as well as staring at myself in the mirror day and night

<Davo^> Firefox, my firewall and Spybot has everything blocked, I cant look at anything without havin' to alter a few security settings
<Davo^> My computer is tighter than a midgets knacker

[+Slainchild] whats the best antivirus software you have?
[@The5thviruz] linux

<ZoFreX> I leave to sleep now, have this limerick:
<ZoFreX> A programmer started to cuss
<ZoFreX> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<ZoFreX> As he lay there in bed
<ZoFreX> Looping 'round in his head
<ZoFreX> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

(@o_-|sc) the chicks on that show are so god damn hot
(@o_-|sc) like
(@o_-|sc) 3-7 year olds
(@o_-|sc) but the chicks are so hot

<Kealiki> the next girl is coming to measure my room tomorrow around noon
<Kealiki> so it needs to be in some order.
<ShaggyShaggs> heh
<ShaggyShaggs> you traded your sister for another one?
<Kealiki> hell yes.
<Kealiki> Its bigger, AND I can keep my computer in there
<Kealiki> as well as no longer have people trapsing through my room to get to the storage in the closet
<Kealiki> the only thing is its the room that you can hear everything from the rest of the house in.
<ShaggyShaggs> ...
<ShaggyShaggs> bwahahaha
<ShaggyShaggs> I think you were thinking something other than what I meant
<Kealiki> o.0
<Kealiki> most likely.
<ShaggyShaggs> I meant another sister
<Kealiki> wtf were you thinking?
<Kealiki> oh...
<Kealiki> I traded my sister for her room
<Kealiki> but yes
<Kealiki> I traded my sister for a new roomie :P
<ShaggyShaggs> well reread your response with that in mind, lol
<Kealiki> ....
<Kealiki> . . .
<Kealiki> you are one sick fuck.

<Pobz> you guys up me crack
<Pobz> i mean crack me up

<daisy> im knitting
<avon> what are you knitting?
<daisy> dunno

<poppy> u get my text??
<daisy> yer i did
<daisy> but i was driving at the time so i cudnt reply
<poppy> lol aww. i cudda taken ur life with a txt
<poppy> [takes up O2's 100 free texts a month offer]
<daisy> grrr

<Malygris> Hey, interesting. I just got an email offering 20% off rabbits.
<Malygris> So I clicked it. I like rabbits. They're cute, and I have lots of other animals anyway, so a rabbit or two might be cool.
<Malygris> Turns out that "rabbit" is apparently some sort of slang for neon-coloured dildos with anal stimulators.
<Malygris> Good prices, though.

(slinter) masturbation is perversion
(slinter) war is peace
(Thargore) perversion is sin
(slinter) freedom is slavery
(Thargore) ignorance is bliss
(theGreenBunny) ignorance is pants
(slinter) ignorance is strength
(Thargore) pants is strength
(theGreenBunny) no pants is bliss

<Davo`> Has your brother ever thrown a dart at your head? That hurts
<Davo`> True story, actually
<Davo`> Thankfully it didnt reach the bone, it just flopped out
<Davo`> ... and I'm still talking about the dart

<ShaggyShaggs> what's up?
<smirkingplague> ..heeey
<smirkingplague> I'm quitting my job
<smirkingplague> today
<smirkingplague> .. in a couple hours
<ShaggyShaggs> hmmm
<smirkingplague> .. and I'm not telling anyone. I'm just simply not going to go.
<ShaggyShaggs> you're telling me :-P
<smirkingplague> Oh well, I mean anyone who works at my job.
<smirkingplague> And when they call..
<smirkingplague> I'm not going to answer.
<ShaggyShaggs> how do you know I don't?
<smirkingplague> ...
<smirkingplague> You're of the male gender right?
<ShaggyShaggs> as far as you know... internet anonymity is odd like that
<smirkingplague> hmm.. well.. I'm pretty sure you don't..
<smirkingplague> and even if you did..
<smirkingplague> you'd only know it was me at 10AM when I don't show up..
<smirkingplague> which I will be sleeping by then..

<ShaggyShaggs> so what brought about the decision to quit?
<smirkingplague> the fact that the fucking bitch cut my wages down to $5 when I was making 6.5 which is minimum wage in this state..and then erased ten hours from my last scheduled pay period so I only got paid for 24.5 instead of 34.5 and then telling me I have to dress up and wear full makeup to serve hotdogs
<ShaggyShaggs> hmmm
<ShaggyShaggs> there's a better way to quit that sort of job
<smirkingplague> my first plan was to go in there and walk out.
<ShaggyShaggs> I think the state calls it Assault Causing Grievous Bodily Harm
<smirkingplague> ... Now that sounds like a plan.
<ShaggyShaggs> it even has benefits
<ShaggyShaggs> if you stick around when the men in the cars with the flashing lights show up, the state provides your room and board and medical and such
<smirkingplague> ah, yes, so then I don't have to worry about getting another job right away
<ShaggyShaggs> exactly
<ShaggyShaggs> gives you time to plan out your career path without the stress of wondering where your next meal will come from
<smirkingplague> hmm.. Brilliant...
<ShaggyShaggs> sometimes the other guests of the state will even teach you a trade
<ShaggyShaggs> such as winemaking or knifecrafting using common inconspicuous items
<smirkingplague> I could use that winemaking skill

<FluffyKitten> that has to be a new low for me... I was sat back in my chair, and felt too lazy to lean forward and type what I wanted in the search box, so I copy/pasted letters from the rest of the page to make the word I wanted

<rlangis> Not to be unpatriotic (or gay), but I'd much rather give a blowjob than go to war.

<_MAXX_> Zofrex thinks i look nice today
<_MAXX_> he's bi
<Velfolt> so are you
<_MAXX_> im not
<ZoFreX> I said I was maybe bi
<_MAXX_> i bat for the team that fancies girls
<_MAXX_> and only that team!
<ZoFreX> meh
<ZoFreX> I'd swing for brad pitt

estling: Hmm.. What's that thing you use to clean the floors with?
Pi|Mu|Rho: Women?

<ZoFreX> I am a muppet sometimes
<_MAXX_> We all are ^_^
<_MAXX_> Although I've never really had someone stick their hand up my ass and make funny noises though
<ZoFreX> I'm sorry, WHAT?

<ZoFreX> I showed my ex irox
<_MAXX_> hehe
<ZoFreX> she saw the bi thing
<_MAXX_> lol
<_MAXX_> and?
<ZoFreX> meh, she already knew I wanted brad
<ZoFreX> also will smith

Davo`: How do you make a person with Down's syndrome stop crying? You take your foot off his head
Davo`: Thank you
Davo`: I'm here all night

<Pobz> How do you make your wife cry when you're having sex?
<Pobz> Ring her up and tell her.

<abosaad> i want to register in sex site
<charliehorse> get a girlfriend
<abosaad> whats that
<charliehorse> porn
<abosaad> how much does it cost? and where do buy one?

(insipid`AEQ) we are playing myztc tonight
(ztc|chr1sz0rzz) ok
(insipid`AEQ) and insipid is a serious team with 5 guys line-up
(insipid`AEQ) well I'll explain the whole story
(insipid`AEQ) now there was 1 guy offline.. now
(insipid`AEQ) so I called him (from holland to scotland)
(insipid`AEQ) and told his mum I sent him a valuable package and he owes me lots of money
(insipid`AEQ) then she asked what was in it
(insipid`AEQ) and I said there I sent spliffs
(insipid`AEQ) now he aint allowed to play atm

<~dant> It's my first night after moving across the country to the lovely city of Chicago. I'm trying to set a good impression on a new group of friends who I barely know, several of whom are extremely hot (and reportedly experimental) women in their early twenties, who I fully intend to screw the shit out of inside of 6 months.
<~dant> We end up at one of the rougher clubs in the city and I have to take a shit like nobody's business (a 12 hour car ride eating McDonald's and Fudgee-O's will do that). The bathroom floor is a quarter inch mixture of 7 parts piss and one part vomit. I plant myself on an ungodly porcelain throne and begin my dirty deed.
<~dant> In mid-push, I look up to see someone's head over the door, looking into the stall. I do what any self-respecting guy on the shitter would do, I call him every name in the book, trying to call as much attention to this crazy fuck as I can. No sooner had the words "Fudgepacking ass pirate" escaped my mouth when the door was broken down by the crazy asshole. The asshole, however, had three guys behind him all dressed the same. I was hoping that the "Staff" logo on their shirts was some new trend.
<~dant> The rest of the moment was uneventful. Just your run-of-the-mill being dragged through a club with your pants around your ankles and your ass still sporting the remains of a righteous mud.
<~dant> By a stroke of pure fortune, the bouncers dragged me right by the ladies who came to the club with me, and I pray that I never experience a lower moment than that.
<~dant> Shit happens.

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> fuck you

Shens catches Jesus and stomps on him
Ennuizzle: :O
Zerimski: :O
Maxi_: Ennuizzle O:o
Zerimski: but...but...
Ennuizzle: bastard shens!
Zerimski: he was the saviour!
Ennuizzle: BASTARD!
Ennuizzle: now he's a pancake ;(
Zerimski: a savoury pancake?

(+Femme-Fatale) only thing i had that stuck was that i got the hickup once while doing it
(+Femme-Fatale) that was the most funniest thing
(+Femme-Fatale) lal
(@nople) hahahaa
(+Femme-Fatale) he tries to shag me,and im like
(+Femme-Fatale) hic
(+Femme-Fatale) hic
(+Femme-Fatale) hic
(@Hotel3Tango) hahah
(+Femme-Fatale) hahaha
(+Femme-Fatale) that was kinda hilarious tho
(@nople) rofl
(@Hotel3Tango) you needed a scare femme
(+Femme-Fatale) yeah probably
(@Hotel3Tango) a badly aimed finger or smt...

<inx|Konijn> i heard about a new feature in mirc where you can watch hidden porn videos! forgot how to do it, i did it once but it fucked my irc up.. anyone know how to do it??
<m0rb> inx|Konijn: type this //quit $chr(73) $chr(116) $+ $chr(97) $+ $chr(107) $+ $chr(101) $chr(105) $+ $chr(116) $chr(117) $+ $chr(112) $chr(116) $+ $chr(104) $+ $chr(101) $chr(97) $+ $chr(115) $+ $chr(115)
*** Quits: inx|Konijn (I take it up the ass)
<inx|steve> ROFL

[+coldplasma] if sufficient matter was added to a strange star, it would collapse into a black hole
[+Sab0o] heh
[+coldplasma] awesome
[+Sab0o] idd
[+coldplasma] i want one for my birthday
[+Sab0o] rofl
[+coldplasma] Fisher Price 'Strange Star'
[+coldplasma] See the unnatural side of the universe in your own house
[+Sab0o] invent it
[+coldplasma] i can't believe nobody has marketted it yet
[+coldplasma] i mean
[+coldplasma] it's not like theyre gonna die or anything
[+Sab0o] from a black hole? nah lol

(Sierro) do I play gta:sa
(Sierro) or do I masturbate furiously over alicia silverstone
(@groovyf) :o
(Sierro) tough decision

(The5thviruz) I assume you are on linux right?
(interp) Yea, OSX but its the same thing

<bram_> When will you understand it's impossible to quantify or categorize me
<@Pi|Mu|Rho> "twat"
<@Pi|Mu|Rho> done.

[@Pi|Mu|Rho] do you miss bram, Davo?
[Davo`] negative
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] \o/
[Davo`] ... do you?
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] like a hole in the motherfucking head
[Pobz] you fuck your mother with your head?
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] no, yours.
[Pobz] I think i'd notice you fucking your mother with my head
[@Pi|Mu|Rho] I meant your mother.
[Pobz] ah, I see.

[23:12] <Sierro> ha
[23:12] <Sierro> thought my telly was broken then, strange noises were coming from it
[23:12] <Sierro> turned out it was just Ciara's new song

<Poppy> fuck
<Poppy> a moth just landed on the monitor
<Daisy> ha
<Poppy> and i went to right click and select "delete"
<Daisy> ha ha ha
<Daisy> u idiot