<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit.

(Feeks) Hey can anyone help me I've been building a computer?
(@Wabz) Whats up?
(Feeks) Well i built it but it wont turn on
(@Wabz) Is the PSU connected to the board and harddrive etc
(Feeks) Yeah I'm not fucking stupid
(@Wabz) lol ok then, can you hear the fan on the PSU?
(Feeks) Yeah so it's turned on ya fucking muppet
(@Wabz) Fair enough then
(@Wabz) There should be a little red switch on the back of the PSU saying 240
(Feeks) Yeah man
(Feeks) ??? Hurry up some of us dont have all day
(@Wabz) OK OK lol push it over so it says 115 and you'll get more power going to the board
(Feeks) Then Plug it in?
(@Wabz) Yeah
(KLine) hehe :)
@Wabz puts his fingers in his ears
(Feeks) You fucking bastard you blew it up
(@Wabz) No i told you how to blow it up
(@Wabz) You blew it up
(Feeks) Fucker!!

<Arai> I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.
<Arai> Not wanking.
<Arai> I wipe my ass with my left hand.
<Vhabion> I use toillet paper

<ProfLiebstrom> the joys of being an uncle. dont get any of the bad stuff :P
<qui> sod having kids :)
<CaptainTrips> kids is the worst possible STD you can get

(TomO) Yes, Ishingly. I was going to actually consider putting a bag of ice on my cpu..
(TomO) :|

<@onions> cheers rocked
<@onions> and i just sneezed up something pretty solid, its on my wall :/

[+Maeg] that movie brings back fond memories of trying to seduce my 3rd cousin

<Pinapoke> I'll beh shimmyin' off to .. er .. something else
<Pinapoke> I can't quite tell you what, but yes it will be raunchy and it involves your sister

<detro> i dont remember my heart stopping though
<detro> and i dont remember the paddles shocking me
<revc> that's because you were dead
<detro> yea
<detro> i guess
<detro> next time i die i wanna be sober

(Jip`) get a trust? ?!?!?
(@D33) can't on cgi irc
(@D33) unless anyone knows a friendly, willing, op
(Melly) sorry, u lost me at friendly
(Melly) they're like gold growing from ya ass crack :]
* @phantom looks at his pile of arse crack gold
(Melly) phantom :o u have piles!

(@Draa) Eating two tins of beans has put some serious pressure on my colon
(@Draa) I think I need a poo
(@Draa) brb
(@MikeS) hahah
(@Draa) Back :o
(@Draa) 8 minutes :o
(@Draa) Not bad considering my poo was the size of a small giant and had the density of plutonium

<Blooshoo> speaking as a fat person. who likes to pretend that i get laid so i can impress internet people..i have sex all the time
<Blooshoo> and i date bisexual girls. who like my man boobs :D
<Arby> hard to type with one hand, isnt it Blooshoo?
<Blooshoo> not with pratice

([Matt]) i have spidey 2 on a top quality DVD copy
([Matt]) :)
(Sierro) warez monkey
* @flossie glares
(Sierro) gline tbh
([Matt]) ive seen it in the cinema 3 times
([Matt]) :D
(@flossie) so you've no taste
([Matt]) no
([Matt]) :)
([Matt]) i like geeky films
([Matt]) what can i say
(Sierro) you geek
(@flossie) geeky films? you mean, like Debbie Does C++ ? :)
(Sierro) lol
(F_Jack) lol
([Matt]) rofl
(Ventral) rofl
* Brocken is so turned on by that

<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes

<magothy> is there an irish expression for hangover?
<tReMeR> morning

(+Fluffybunny) i'll be a transexual if ya want me to be baby

(Marik) Im gonna open my stereo find the chip that proces info, then haxor the chip solder some random weires to it, plug into pc then make a script so that i can show you what im playing by typing /mp3

[Deviant] I dont understand how nasa can get too the moon and back on 486's but we need supercomputers too run a damn game

[Pizzababy] CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON
[Pizzababy] LALALA
* traesko celebrates good times and cums on Pizzababy
[weightyogre] very smooth:)
[traesko] i dont get out much.
* Pizzababy slaps traesko around a bit with a large trout
* traesko goes stealth bukkake ninja on Pizzababy and cums on her face and quickly vanishes into the dark.

[@synth] how is that "pwned"?
[traesko] it just felt really good.
[Dalamari] "felt" good
[traesko] real damn good i might add.
[@synth] no that's just making stupid jokes
[Dalamari] like, the jizz?
[traesko] synth: true.
[traesko] still pretty funny when you havent slept in 17 hours..
[Dalamari] owned is like someone saying HL2 sucks, then I push them down a flight of stairs
[traesko] hehehe
[traesko] that pwned
[Dalamari] Then he gets up and wants to fight me
[Dalamari] Then a car drives into the room for no reason and kills him

(@Ciber) dont u always feel like using 1337sp33k when apples33d is around?
(+Marik) yea
(@Carth) no
(Ciber) is now known as (C1b0r)
(@Carth) lol
(+Marik) b3c4us3 17s w1n
(@Apples33d) j00 5HoULd 4LL $pe4K le3T wHEN 1M 4RouND
(+Marik) 4nd 1 L1k3 m347!
(@Apples33d) m4n m33t?
(+Marik) 4y3 m4n m33t

<@guinea-pig> an ion walks into a bar and says "i think i left an electron here lastnight"
<@guinea-pig> and the bartender says "are you positive?"

<`Nadine-> I blow goats

<Jon_01> i aint a dumass sk

<hyper-polyno> You know the police pay people for victim support?
<K-Hole> heh
<hyper-polyno> I was thinking, if you got raped you'd be quids in
<hyper-polyno> I might go to a gay bar, get take loads of drugs get someone to bum me and say I got gang raped
<hyper-polyno> plus you could earn a few quid by charging for it
<K-Hole> im gonna post it on the forums
<hyper-polyno> plus you could earn a few quid by charging for it
<hyper-polyno> they don't even need a conviction!
<hyper-polyno> Think about it
<hyper-polyno> free money
<hyper-polyno> It's true though
<hyper-polyno> could spark a whole new era of coning
<hyper-polyno> Actually I might pair up with some fit girl, do her and then get her to report it
<K-Hole> still, im posting it, so they can all laugh at the fact you want to get bummed
<hyper-polyno> then split the money, for splitting her arse

(Jon_01) is it me or is the country gettin stupider
(Jon_01) i bought some microwavable pancakes
(Naigel) Point being?
(Jon_01) and on the packet it said "Caution after heating pankaces might be hot"
(Jon_01) im like wtf

(CrazyHarij) I can't stand this
(Pobz) sit down then
(CrazyHarij) ...

<D33> ..13:28.. <@Ferg> im 21 and my gf is 30 :p
<D33> Sex dolls last 3 decadeS ?
<BlackIsle|Work> lol
<Brocken> duno D33, did yours? :p
<D33> no, four days
<D33> then she got a puncture
<D33> and flew away
<D33> ;'(
<D33> I THOUGHT IT WAS GAS

(CrazyHarij) Based on the record uptime of my WinXP box, my e-Penis is 28.76 inches (73.04cm) long!
(@gnuXtop) Based on the fact that you own a copy of Win XP, your e-Penis is 0.1mm long

(01:12:12) (Melly) are flys imune to deoldrant sprays?
(01:12:16) (Jolene) yes
(01:12:22) (Melly) curses
(01:12:23) (Jolene) but they smell nice afterwards
(01:12:27) (Melly) lol
(01:12:41) (ohnoes) unless they be near fire :E
(01:12:44) (ProfLiebstrom) they arent immune to deodrant :O
(01:12:48) (Melly) how bout shoe polish
(01:13:19) (ComradeBadger) give 'em a nice shine :)
(01:13:20) (Jolene) polish shoes?
(01:13:57) (ComradeBadger) no, bluebottles
(01:14:21) (Synbios) deodorant and a lighter.
(01:15:10) (Melly) uhh yeah its kinda on my screen and i dont wanna fry it ya daft fucker
(01:15:35) (ComradeBadger) use your mouse to point it to death
(01:15:56) (Melly) tried and failed
(01:16:06) (Jolene) no... go to a webpage and find an animated gif of fire
(01:16:10) (Jolene) then burn it
(01:16:11) (Synbios) lol

<DiSTuRbEdofX1> valve won't say anything till its gold
<DiSTuRbEdofX1> END OF STORY
<PantsofDoom> they'll probably release it on sep 30th to be funny
<@onions> thats what i think :)
<@onions> "see! sept 30! told you!"
<@D33> By which time most interest would of moved onto other games no doubt
<@D33> HL2 gets released, everyone gets their preorder in the post ... "what's this? oh my god, i remember this... christ it's been a while, I've been playing Tribes45 and Unreal Tournament 21... wow.. Half-Life2.. I remember those days of hype.. meh, I'll install it in a minute, I'm off to play Duke Nukem Forever!"
<onions> lol D33
<BadHat> oooh, dnf, low blow there d33 :P
<PantsofDoom> lol ^_^
<@onions> dnf, the waiting mans game :D

<+Z-Ro> u guys dont think i can make the marines
<+Z-Ro> i run everyday
<+Z-Ro> and workout everyday
<+Z-Ro> and bench 210
<+Z-Ro> and can run a mile under 4
<+Z-Ro> i swear i do half mile in 2 1/2

(Intron) HI D33!!
(Intron) whats cocking
(Intron) cooking
(Melly) cocking lol
(Intron) u suck Melly
(Melly) $5

(@beavy) ello
(@beavy) i feel so ill
(@beavy) :{
(@beavy) went to a m8s house warming
(@beavy) only i had to work b4 hand so i was a bit late
(@beavy) so i turn up, have a few pints and m8 got me to drink a pinacolada or whatever
(@beavy) went to offy
(@beavy) got a bottle of JD
(@beavy) i drank a glass of it straight coz i wanted to test my theory that if i drink it strate at the atrart i can mix it with coke stronger later and not notice it so much
(@beavy) well neways, i proceeded to drink all but 1 shot of the bottle
(@beavy) in 1 and a half hrs
(@beavy) only thing i
(@beavy) i dont actualy remember drinking it after the first glass
(@beavy) infact i remember very little
(@beavy) only things i remember r making a tit of myself to a girl
(@beavy) jumping out his window to retrieve a packet of matches
(@beavy) and final thing i remember
(@beavy) was vomiting everywhere
(@beavy) in his new house
(@beavy) rofl :{
(@beavy) only when i vomit everywhere i do it with style
(@beavy) i was sitting by his window, and he has floor to ceiling windows
(@beavy) i jumped up to be sick out the window
(@beavy) only as i was paraletic
(@beavy) i jumped straight into the window
(@beavy) vomited at the same time
(@beavy) and then smeared down the window and smacked my head on the floor
(@beavy) fun fun fun :)
(@beavy) and thats all i remember
(@beavy) aparently i did that twice aswell
(@beavy) :o
(@beavy) they said they gave me water
(@beavy) and that i poured it on my head
(@beavy) in the mornin i realised that i had actualy drunk more jd than i had coke
(@beavy) they said i drank most of it straight :o
(@beavy) heh
(@beavy) i dont fink they want me back too quick :)
(@beavy) and i dont fink i wanna drink ever again
(@beavy) they got pictures of me at various stages
(@beavy) 1 of em is me passed out with my head in the corner of the chair with my body pocking out and legs dangling
(@beavy) i just rofl at the thought of som1 being outside the house
(@beavy) just seeing a bloke jump into a window and vomit on impact
(@beavy) would be the funniest thing ever
(@beavy) lucky i did vomit alot, or me finx i would be dead
(@beavy) nnnnnneway
(@beavy) moff to watch romeo and juliet

(@MZhukov): im tired and about to install PoE, so will be very tired at work tomorrow :}
(@Ferg): er
(@Ferg): "about to install PoE?"
(@MZhukov): Point of Existance, its a mod for Battlefield Vietnam
(@Ferg): OH
(@Ferg): not power over ethernet
(@MZhukov): no.
(@Ferg): i'm such a geek.
(@MZhukov): yes.

[@Drake|Work]: wow, u quite cute for a n00b
[@Sky--]: oh geez
[@SteelFist]: put that mirror down drake u vain bastard

[@ShadowWraith]: I do anal
[@ShadowWraith]: Thats all
[@ShadowWraith]: cock > boobs

[@`Sephiorth`]: [amsg] #mauler .... hes lookin for a partner, (guys get there)
[@Mauler]: [16:00:27] <`Sephiorth`> #mauler .... hes lookin for a partner, (girls get there)
[@`Sephiorth`]: ahaha neither sex wants u
[@`Sephiorth`]: :D

[@Iconoclast0w]: how big is it? :o
[@AnGeltje]: 2cm
[@Iconoclast0w]: ...
[@Iconoclast0w]: Actually it's 3 1/4 inch
[@AnGeltje]: rofl
[@Iconoclast0w]: OMG
[@AnGeltje]: hahahaa
[@Iconoclast0w]: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

[@icon`NFSU]: Blow meh!
[@AnGel`]: sorry
[@AnGel`]: no microscope today
[@AnGel`]: maybe next time
[@icon`NFSU]: "Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there"

[TDK`haircut]: you know what sucks, heading home from your haircut, STARVING, so you decide to stop at your local Taco Bell and pick some food up; your driving home, waiting to chow down on your delicious borrito; you pull in the drive way, you hurry outta the car, get in the door, got the bag of food in your hands, that BLOP you step in your dogs SHIT, ARGHHHHH THIS SUCKS, now im like ... not hungry <_<

* Heartwork violently kills flossie, and throws his corpse to the sex deprived homosexual necrophiliacs
(@groovyf) you first inline then, Heartwork? :E
(Heartwork) you bastard.

: @NoMaD` slaps Mauler around a bit with a large trout
[@NoMaD`]: u alive?
[@NoMaD`]: wonder if he has much of a hangover
[@NoMaD`]: he was so pissed, he went to the toilet n his bro had to wipe his arse

: @Lightning-Gun unhides
: @Lightning-Gun hides
: @Lightning-Gun unhides
[@Lightning-Gun]: wooho
[@Lightning-Gun]: u neva seen me !
::: Kick: (Lightning-Gun) was kicked by (ShadowWraith) (You're falling in a bottomless pit of loneliness <42>)
::: Join: (Lightning-Gun) (CoolDude@cyclic.fraggy.co.uk)
::: Mode: (Tornado) sets (+v Lightning-Gun)
[+Lightning-Gun]: foun you !
[@ShadowWraith]: Yes, you were indeed asking for that
[@AnGel^]: now now kids
[+Lightning-Gun]: if i wasnt down here i wud so kick your ass ;c

[@[c]Pussy]: i dont smell
[@[c]Pussy]: !
[@[c]Pussy]: fly's just fancy me
[@[c]Pussy]: thats all

<ProfLiebstrom> anyone know what time the boxing is tomorrow?
<Sierro> yep
<ProfLiebstrom> for once mind not being a wanker and just say
<onions[zZz]> lol, stop it ffs i need to sleep :)
<Sierro> since you've been so nice to me tonight, i'll tell you
<Sierro> it's on at half past fuck you

<Rat``> im 13 an i aint had sex yet =(
<xani> do you live in the land of 12 year old pregnancies?
<xani> ie. america?

<ProfLiebstrom> rooney visited a cheap whore :o
<Sierro> http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/3588112.stm
<Kalias> "Ms McLoughlin reportedly discarded her ?25,000 engagement ring at the Formby Point Nature Reserve near the couple's luxury home." What a spoilt git... I'll bet people were out in droves looking for it :p
<Pi|Mu|Rho> they were
<Pi|Mu|Rho> they had to ban people
<FluffyKitten> indeed
<FluffyKitten> I'd guess it was eaten by a swan
<Pi|Mu|Rho> FluffyKitten: that's remarkably unlikely
<Pi|Mu|Rho> as it's more of a squirrel sanctuary.
<FluffyKitten> I don't care, it's my guess
<Pi|Mu|Rho> but maybe a swan swooped in and took it.
<FluffyKitten> perhaps it was eaten by a squirrel, which was in turn eaten by a swan
<Kalias> I'd think the squirrel would have to have been eaten by a fish first.
<Kalias> Swans generally don't go for squirrels.
<Pi|Mu|Rho> IT COULD HAPPEN!
<FluffyKitten> that's just plain unlikely, Kalias
<FluffyKitten> why would a fish eat a squirrel ?
<Pi|Mu|Rho> hunger?
<Kalias> Big enough fish will eat anything, just need the squirrel to fall in a pond.
<SonicSamurai> " ... i think we need a bigger boat"
<FluffyKitten> if the squirrel has fallen into a pond, perhaps the swan will eat it
<Kalias> Then the swan can eat the fish... and in turn be blended by a jet engine.
<FluffyKitten> the ring would then damage the engine
<Kalias> The jet would then stall and crash into Wayne Rooney's house and the cycle begins again.

<maybeHere> GOD DAMN FUCK ASS
<maybeHere> i've just shut down my friggin browser
<maybeHere> was waiting in line for a fileplanet download

<Kuros> + my penis is massive, glistening and throbbing
<Kuros> I can pound it on my desk if I want to. I can go WHOMPA WHOMPA WHOMPA AWOOSH
<TheMistress> Kuros I hope you get splinters you sick little man